Maybe I'm Just A Bitter Old Lady...

...but the woman sitting next to me at the movies today really pissed me off.

Alan, Kali, Ander, and I got there early and picked a section that was a) in the middle of the row so we were right in front of the screen and b) where Ander could sit between Alan and I with no one in front of us (the wheelchair space was in front of us) so Ander could quietly move around.

The annoying lady and her kid arrived with their friends a couple of minutes before the movie started.

First, she turned to me and said, "I don't guess I could get you to move over, huh?" Um, no. There were other seats in the theater, just not as good of seats. So we'd be giving up some of the best seats in the house so she, who arrived late and just refused to sit anywhere else, could sit with the almost a dozen people she arrived with two minutes before the movie. Plus, it was OBVIOUS that we were blocking Ander in and couldn't do it if we moved over. So I said, "sorry, I would, but we are blocking the toddler in." Smile.

Next, she sat next to me, placed her purse on her seat, fumbled with her popcorn, realized that she could fit her popcorn on her seat with her skinny butt if her purse wasn't also on the seat, and pointedly placed her purse ON MY SEAT. Yes, you heard me right. I put it back on her seat and glared at her, and without as much as a "oh sorry," she moved over to make room on her own seat for the purse.

She talked to her daughter (old enough, maybe 9?, to sit quietly through a movie) the whole time.

After the movie, I brought Kali (age 5) to a long line of little girls needing to potty after the movie. She was in front of us with her daughter. Her daughter announced that she did not need to pee. Obnoxious lady apparently needs to pee, though. She enters a stall, pauses, says to her friend, "oh, I forgot to give you a piece," and - still holding the stall door open BUT NOT USING THE BATHROOM WHILE MANY LITTLE KIDS JUMP SIDE TO SIDE IN LINE TRYING NOT TO PEE IN THEIR PANTS - proceeds to spend over a minute digging through her purse for a stick of gum to give her friend (a grownup).

After she pees, she goes to the sink. Again, there is a line. She walks up to the middle sink, stops, and pulls out her cell phone. Blocking and facing the sink, she makes a loud phone call!!! The kids continue to wait in line behind her.

After finally washing her hands and finally letting others through to wash theirs, she turns to her daughter and says, "see, that's why I didn't let you bring a friend." (Aside - what about the ten people she HAD TO sit with previously, huh?) "I know you would be oblivious and not pay any attention to the other people, and that would be rude."

Seriously?!?

Etcetera.

Getting Life Together

Yesterday, I planned my billables goals for the month of January. I have plenty of actual work to do, but I need to focus on getting it done. So I have a daily billables goal (based on what I want to make this upcoming year and whether I have Strollerfit or a nonbillable court date or meeting that day). But I think I'm also going to create a daily schedule.

Now, it needs to be flexible, because I cannot just not answer the phone (as that's how new business and lots of billables come in). Also, I have things in the morning (Strollerfit through the end of January and court dates) about 3 or 4 days each week. And sometimes I have nonbillable work that must be done on a deadline (like filing a pleading or calling a counselor for a juvenile).

So I think I'll make this my schedule:

Arrival:
1. Process in-box (do short stuff, calendar stuff that takes longer and give to staff to file appropriately, discard or put other things in the to be filed box for staff). MAY INCLUDE BILLABLES
2. Process e-mail (same routine). MAY INCLUDE BILLABLES
3. Do Priority One assignments in PDA. MAY INCLUDE BILLABLES
4. Meet billables goal.
5. Do any other assignments for that date or move them to new date.

That way, I don't have a crowded in-box and have a checklist to follow. In February, I'll start going to the Y, so I won't miss so much work to workout.

Etcetera.

Time To Regroup

I've been slacking on making enough money at work. It's not that I haven't been working, but about 50% or more of what I do is nonbillable. That means it is paid for in one lump, monthly payment by the public defenders office. If I have a little or a lot of work, it pays the same thing. And lately, I have a lot of work. Add to that vacation, sick leave when Ander had his ear infection, the early pregnancy symptoms, the miscarriage, and the holidays, and I've barely been in the office 50% of the time. And the nonbillable work still needs to be done timely, which means billable stuff (unless it is critical) gets put off. I don't make any money doing that.

Therefore, I am doing a few things to increase billing. First, I'm going to set up an incentive program for my staff to inspire them to help me get on track. Lots of times, they have little questions that take up time, or we gossip for a half hour instead of working, and I don't reach my billables goal. I hope incentives will help them keep me on track. Also, I'm not going to be doing Strollerfit, so I'll try to workout at different times of day, so I'm at the office much more.

BTW, anyone else go to the YMCA? What do you think of the aerobics classes? The childcare? The hours? The tv selection? (Hey, priorities, people!)

Etcetera.

Christmas Was Tough

Maybe it was the miscarriage and the feeling that I should be fat and pregnant. I'm at my skinniest weight in over a decade, and people keep commenting on how much thinner I am. Except that I am supposed to be getting fat and being pregnant, you know?

Ander seemed the love the presents, but he was pretty bored by the whole opening them concept. Three presents from mommy and daddy are sitting under the tree. He sure does love Santa Claus, though. And m&ms.

Why do people insist on begging me to allow my almost two year old to stand on furniture, "because it's Christmas." Because it's Christmas, emergency rooms will be packed. He will not be standing on furniture. And bah humbug to you too.

Etcetera.

Holy Milk Spills

Ander has officially mastered the art of opening sippy cups and spilling milk all over the floor. Sippy cups are about to become a kitchen only toy. Sigh.

Oh, and he was watching Superwhy today (a cartoon where they spell words) and he correctly (accidentally?) picked out the letter T. Excellent.

We are going to MILs. I'm sure I'll post then. Sigh.

Etcetera.

Power Struggles

Ander is not even two. Not even two. So when did he learn that shouting NNNNOOOOOO!!! at the top of his lungs was a good way to respond to such simple requests as, "time to brush your teeth" or "you have to stay in your carseat until we get to Maw Maw's house." Sigh.

Lots of timeout will be happening in my house thsi week. LOTS.

Ah, well, at least he's not 16 and pregnant and about to have his hit tv show cancelled. ;)

Etcetera.

Attention LSMSA'ers

Received via email today:

Greetings fellow alumni of LSMSA---Please forward this message to any mailing lists, or post in relevantplaces where members of your class hang out.I want to let you know that there are two online forums where LSMSAalumni are gathering.The first is LSMSAReunion.com. This site has been around for 6 monthsand has become fairly active. It restricts membership to those whohave attended (but not necessarily graduated from) LSMSA. To speedthe validation process, you can put me down as a referrer-- in thereferrer box put JayPrince (no space.) This isn't an affiliatescheme or anything like that, just the secret knock so you don't haveto wait to be validated.The second forum is giftienation.com. This site is brand new and isjust getting started.Both of these are worthy places to meet your fellow alums, and aremuch better than classmates.com, etc, for networking. Many peoplethought to be lost have been found and it really is like having areunion whenever you like-- the respect is there, the comraderie isthere and the sense of humor is there.Hope to see you soon!Jay

Please notify other gifties who you might know.

Etcetera.

Oh No!!!

Strollerfit is ending at the end of January. {insert crying here} The instructor is moving to Scotland (which, admittedly, is pretty cool) where her husband just got offerred a new job. But I loved the classes, and having what felt like a personal trainer, and losing 20 pounds. Ander liked the playgroup atmosphere and making friends.

I guess I'm going to have to find a new workout place.

Etcetera.

Confession Time

When I was in second grade, in Ms. Coleman's class, I used to think she gave to many worksheets for us to do. So I would tear off the last page, and when she asked me why it was missing, I would say it was never there and whoever stapled it must have missed that page. I did this like once a week, and she never questioned me about it. Mind you, after second grade, I never cheated, even in high school and junior high when everybody copied work. But I was a second grade rebel.

What's your elementary school confession?

Etcetera.

On A Budget

MSN is reporting, on there front page, luxury cars on a budget. A budget of $34,000. For a car? A car that lasts, at most, five years? That is crazy. Buy one if you'd like; you'll hear no judgment from me. Just don't claim that it's a "budget" item. Maybe I'm just too poor to understand. But I'm solidly middle class. I'm pretty sure I'd consider a $34,000 a luxury item and not something I buy on a budget.

Etcetera.

The Poop Report

Everyday when I pick up Ander, my mom gives me the poop report. He didn't go today. He went four times. It was runny. AAAAHHHHHHH!!! Cover me ears, 'cause I don't want to know. I tell her I don't want to know, unless it is at a point where he might need to see a doctor, but she ignores me and tells me anyway.

I know my loyal readers are innocently asking - why are you telling us this?

Oh, well, because I'm about to give a poop report. :)

He pooped out of his diaper this morning. All over his legs. While I was on the phone with another attorney. And then he started yelling, "STINKY. STINK. KEY!!!" Oh, and halfway through cleaning him up, we ran out of wipes. Gre-ate. And he tried to touch it.

Etcetera.

Liquid, Solid, or Gas

I saw one of those cool air cans, used to blow the dust out of keyboards, on my mom's counter. Cool. I picked it up and sprayed it on my hand, to feel the breeze.

It was oil, not air. Dammit.

Why oh why was the temp, in December, 82 degrees?

And a big shout out thank you to those who decorate their yards with Christmas lights. We are too cheap and too lazy to do so, but all those blow up Santas and fancy lights keep my child very happy on the dark commute home.

Etcetera.

Doing My Part

In the interest of science (and, merely coincidentally), I tried the new Fruity Pebbles to find out whether they are truly "Now Even Tastier" as promised.

Nope. Exactly the same. Perhaps a dash sweeter, which isn't a good thing, seeing as they started out too sweet.

Alan and I attended the LA House of Reps Christmas party this year. We met the Speaker's wife (wonderfully sweet lady), a representative I know through the legal community, and Alan's co-workers. The Lt. Gov. was there, but I didn't get to meet him. How did we end up there? It was surreal.

Did I mention that I ate far more than my share of shrimp cocktail and pecan pork roast? Yummy, and free.

Oh, and the Ds watched Ander. Ander came home happy and fed, which is how I like him. He *might* have picked up a few *special* words from Mr. P, but that's the risk you assume when you send Ander to the Ds house. ;) Alan and I really need to swap sitting with the Ds more often so that the adults can party more.

When and where did my son learn to insert the words three, eight, ten, and twelve into a twelve count, at the correct time and in the correct space? Hmm. And why not one, two, three...which is what I actually work on?

Etcetera.

My Day Has Gone Pretty Well

I managed to burn breakfast, but the second croissant I toasted was yummy. I left home on time (with many thanks to my hubby for dry cleaning my suit), and my hearing went very well.

When I got to the office, I took care of signing whatever needed to be signed, but my internet is down. Working in Paulina has some real drawbacks. So I'm at a coffee shop, twenty minutes away, because lawyers don't use books much anymore and instead, I am tied to the internet to accomplish anything. Sigh.

Etcetera.

When Should You Wrap Presents

Maybe sometime soon. You know, like before Christmas. So why are all my presents sitting, unwrapped, on my counter?

Etcetera.

This Morning

It's only almost noon, and this morning has already sucked. I had contractions all night, so I didn't sleep very well. I woke up feeling like a zombie. Also, I've had an upset stomach for a couple of days now, and it's really bothering me this morning. But however I felt, I missed most of last week at work due to the miscarriage, so I had to work.

I got to the office, and the internet is down. Of course, the work that is most critical requires internet research. Gre-ate.

So I drove home. By the time I got home, I was falling asleep. I was literally falling down tired. So I layed down, for just a second. And woke up an hour later.

I'm finally at a coffee shop, about to start working. I'll never get everything done.

Stress level extra high.

Etcetera.

For Those Who Don't Know

I had a miscarriage yesterday, at 8 1/2 weeks. Some of you didn't even know I was pregnant yet, because we were waiting on a heartbeat. We never got one. The baby never developed, so yesterday I had a surgery to remove the pregnancy, since the sac kept growing and growing and making me pregnant and sick, but with no baby inside.

So many of my friends have gone through this, and often I didn't know until much later in their lives. I've decided to actively tell people instead. That way, if someone else goes through it in the future, they will know that I understand and they can come to me to talk.

Physically, the recovery is much easier than any recovery from surgery I've ever had. Emotionally, this is probably the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I've known since Monday that the pregnancy was in trouble, so it's not like yesterday was a shock. But I'm not sure I'll ever get used to this.

A huge downfall of actually believing the life begins at conception means that I believe that even if no cells ever divided (the scientific reality is that a few cells probably divided, and then they stopped because of a chromosonal problem), there was a new life inside of me. On one hand, I thought my belief of life at conception was basically a religious teaching that I had accepted, but I realize now that I have absolute, 100% belief in life at conception.

I'm still pro-choice. I'm actually more pro-choice now, because I know better now that conception issues are so sticky that I believe the mom, dad, religious advisors, and medical professions need to make the decisions. For example, my doctor was able to assure me that he was 100% certain that there was no live or viable baby, nor was there a possibility of one. My sac was easy to see and rather large, so it was clear that it was empty. My numbers were extremely low. That made a D&C (the surgery that removes the pregnancy) much easier to accept.

But for a rare minority of women, their is a minute chance of viability, and what do they do? It's easy for me. If the baby isn't clearly dead already, I would not have a D&C. But what if you believe the baby is dead, but maybe won't ever get proof, because your pregnancy sac is hard to see. How long do you wait? What if you start to get an infection? Should a woman be forced to miscarry into a toilet, just because science isn't advanced enough yet to decide if the never-happened-before miracle will happen today? I just don't want to government making those decisions. Let the woman, and her husband, and the doctors, and the Church, and her heart, make those decisions. The government cannot mandate life. Life has to come from the soul.

Also, I've noticed a lot of people telling Alan to go support his wife. He is supporting me. He is amazing. But what about him? Why do so many well-meaning people forget that Daddy lost a baby, too? It's not fair the way we treat men in society. It's not fair that we minimize the role of Daddy. We don't minimize it in my household, and I hope that is an example to the rest of the world. But what I've seen, especially when people find out that Alan does the childcare or is upset over the miscarriage, is that men are just expected to be in a support role for parenting, and that is not fair.

Etcetera.

So Much Work and Housework

By Wednesday, I've got to do tons of housework and work work. I'm really busy at work because of a combination of upcoming court dates and a missed 2 days last week when Ander was sick. I've also got piles of stuff all over the house - unwrapped Christmas presents, unsaved clean clothes, and other random stuff. I need to pick it all up before MIL arrives on Wednesday.

Thankfully, there's a four-day weekend. Excellent.

Etcetera.

My Day

8:40 a.m. Took Ander to the doctor for screaming and complaining of a boo boo.

9:40 a.m. Left doctor's office. They were calling the pharmacy in the next hour or so with scripts for croup and an ear infection. Went to Barne's and Nobles to wait out pharmacy. Doctor said to give him meds this morning, so no waiting until after work.

10:30 a.m. Arrive at pharmacy. They say 20 minutes, as script just arrived.

11 a.m. Pharmicist reports that insurance rejected us. Asks for his social security number. I look up Ander's number, and give it to him. Roam around Target, Chirstmas shopping since I'm stuck there anyway. At least Ander is in a good mood.

11:15 a.m. Another rejection. Are you sure you gave us the primary cardholder's ssn? Um, no, 'cause you never said "primary cardholder." Look it up.

11:45 a.m. Finally get meds and call Sunny to eat. After all, Ander is required to eat with his meds and now it's three hours after he was supposed to take them. He is again showing signs of pain.

12 noon Eat lunch with Sunny, Jon, and an aunt. On the plus side, Aunt holds a sleeping Ander and pays for lunch.

12:45 p.m. Ander wakes. Try to get food in him, which is necessary with his meds. He refuses. Try to give him the one med that doesn't require food. Insert syringe 5 times. Nothing. Realize that medicine is bottle, though bottle clearly says suspension.

1:15 p.m. Arrive back at Target. Pharmacist calls me Kristy. Nope, I didn't get a med today. I just get so many that he knows my name. :/ Get water added to the med.

1:30 p.m. Sitting at a coffee shop. As soon as Ander wakes, I'll give him food and meds. But he is still sleeping.

Did I get any work done yet today? No. If I drive down, I won't have time to get anything done. Sigh. This sucks.

Etcetera.

Evaluating My Parenting Choices

Remember when Ander was a baby (or even before he was born) and all I ever wrote about was parenting? Well, he's definitely not a baby anymore. So I thought it might be a good time to evaluate my parenting choices. To see if I regret anything, or would do things differently.

CHOICE: MINIMAL BABY WEARING

For the most part, I carried Ander, or used a stroller. I only used a baby carrier in specific situations, such as if I had to feed Ander while walking through the mall. On one hand, wearing him more often would have definitely been more convenient in many situations. But I am so glad that he is "stroller-trained." He he, is that a real phrase? But, seriously, he is happy and content sitting in his stroller. I can shop or walk and he thinks the stroller is a natural way to go. Oh, and if I let him walk, it's the best reward ever.

My grade on the choice: B-. If doing it all over, I would babywear more, but probably not much more.

CHOICE: MINIMAL CO-SLEEPING

Unfortunately, Alan doesn't have the fortitude I have about letting Ander stay in his bed, so while Ander went to bed in his crib, he spent many an early morning in my bed.

My grade: C, but only because we didn't enforce it 100%. I wish we would have, because two days ago we finally managed to teach Ander not to come to my bed in the morning. TWO DAYS AGO. :(

CHOICE: EARLY TIMEOUTS

Many, many people told me that he was too little for timeouts. I disagreed then, and I disagree now.

My grade: A+, he is turning out really disciplined and well-behaved, with minimal meltdowns unless he is sick.

CHOICE: BOTTLE FEEDING

I was probably most criticized for bottle feeding. I swear, if I heard the patently untrue statement "breast is best" said by one more pompous know-it-all once more, I was going to scream. :) I am so glad I bottle fed. It was clearly best for us, and had I tried breastfeeding, I would not have experienced all the advantages of bottle feeding. I would probably have believed the propaganda and been just as judgmental of bottle feeding moms as the people who write and spout the propaganda. I stood my my mantra of "breast is best, except when it isn't." And because of that, Ander doesn't need me to soothe. He doesn't need help going to sleep of staying asleep. He is very self-sufficient and independent, and I love that. I do wish there was a way to get great antibodies without breastfeeding, and because there really isn't, I'm still a huge supporter of breastfeeding. I'm just not an *opposer* of bottle feeding. And I certainly don't presume that breastfeeding is the best thing for every family, despite the hype.

My grade: A, though I would likely make a different choice if I reproduced in the future, because I do understand the value of breastfeeding, and when it does happen to be best, which I believe is most of the time, it is a choice I would definitely make. I also would have gotten over the "mommy guilt" ealier. I no longer feel *guilty* for doing what is best for my family, but I really had to realize that propaganda is just that before I could reach that conclusion.

Etcetera.

Worked All Morning

But I haven't met by billing goal. I just have so much nonbillable stuff to do and catch up on. Sigh. So much to do.

I'm about to have lunch, and then I'll return to this coffeeshop table and get more done. I was supposed to be in the office all day, but something came up, so I ended up in LaPlace. I get so much more done in a coffee shop that I might as well stay here, but some of it needs to be billable soon.

I've rearranged my e-mail folders to create an e-mail based task list. It really saves me time not to have to put everything on my pda. I still put non-e-mail stuff and dates, but tasks go in the folders, get done, and get deleted. It is much more efficient, which makes me happy.

Anyone else looking forward to Thanksgiving? Only a week and a day!

Etcetera.

Ranting and Raving

That was me, just now. MIL was defending someone who was wrong, and I just lost it.

No, the father should not abandon his daughter in Louisiana so he can get a job in Texas. Especially since the only reason he doesn't have a job in Louisiana is drug use and quitting jobs because he doesn't want to wake up.

And no, a father has no business yelling at his grown children about what they do with their own stuff.

And yes, that mom on tv with eight kids actually takes care of her kids, which is more than you can say for your grandchildren, so for God's sake, stop judging her and commenting on her as if she is abusing her kids.

I fed up with people who defend the bad guys. And I'm done being quiet about it. I've had my fill of both of our families (Alan's and my family) defending the wicked...being quiet about what they do...helping them out when they put themselves in sticky situations. And I'm done with the talking bad about the good guys. D O N E done.

And I don't care who I tell. I'm irritated and aggravated and ranting and raving.

Etcetera.

Never Catch Up

You ever feel as if you will never catch up. Not with anything specific, but just in general. Good thing this is Alan's last week of overtime, especially with Christmas shopping season ahead.

We've done a great job in the past of limiting our Christmas list and focusing instead on enjoying the holiday with our friends and families. But it's harder this year, because Ander has so many "kid" friends. Some of their parents will no doubt surprise Ander with a Christmas present. And not having a reciprocal present for a little kid is unacceptable, because the little kid does not understand such things. Then again, I don't want to be that parent, showing up unexpectedly with a gift and making the other person uncomfortable because they have nothing for Ander.

Do I get stuff for his playgroup? I think no, but who knows?

What about my friends' kids? Again, I think no, but who knows?

The kids he goes to daycare with? I'm guessing yes, because in the past, that group has traditionally exhanged. But their were different people last time.

There should be a written list of rules. I like written rules. (Oh, I understand the rule among adults, in which you receive and unexpected gift and politely say "thank you," but that does not work for a one year old.)

Sigh.

'Tis the season for sighing.

Etcetera.

The Coolest Thing Happened

My mom's group was out for a mom's night out at the Olive Garden. We ordered drinks, appetizers, and meals. Personally, I ordered a pretty expensive Grilled Shrimp Caprese. We were eating, and as a group of 7 women are apt to do, chatting fairly loudly.

Near the end of the meal, a man who was sitting next to his wife approached the table.

"I hope you ladies don't mind. I heard some of you are teachers or former school teachers. I have lots of respect for that, so I took the liberty of taking care of the table's ticket. Enjoy."

And he disappeared into the night.

The ticket was $250!!! Paid in full. You would not believe the waiter's face, or ours!

Etcetera.

For Dave

There won't be single mommyhood!!! Alan got a new job, with better pay and better hours. So why is this slacker not blogging? I'm not sure. I haven't thought of much to blog about. But I'll try harder. Especially since I complain to Tom that he doesn't blog. :)

And Dave, do you still blog? I haven't gotten a notice of your blog in a while.

Etcetera.

Single Motherhood Haunts Me

It's like a ghost, lurking around the corner. Alan will be working overtime, all the time, soon. Since his promotion, he will work even longer hours. Both he and I are getting nervous.

We divide the chores. I do most of the straightening. I put things where they belong. I track the grocery list. I clean out the frig. I decide when to pull out the winter hats and where to put them for the winter. He cleans. He does the dished and most of the laundry.

Then budget season hits. And it's all he can do to spend his rare free time with Ander.

We've decided to hire someone, at least ocassionally, to clean the house. Also, I am lining up sitters for those days when I can't get off of work on time, and daddy cannot be backup.

But I am still nervous. My business is doing well, if I can just be there to get stuff done. Which means balancing almost single motherhood, for a couple of months, with running a business. Scary.

Boo!

Etcetera.

Sitting At PJ's In LaPlace

...having a tall skinny mocha with whipped, enjoying wearing a sweater, and getting ready for a meeting (in 15 minutes). Post-meeting, I plan to return to PJ's and busting through the pile of work that I need to complete this week. I get so much more done at coffeeshops than I do in the office. I think the difference is that I still have my staff right at hand (via IM, cell, and email), but they aren't just right there, so I can't gossip or hang out instead of being on tasks. Sometimes, though, you have to break and gossip. It's just that in the office, it's easy to get sucked into a conversation. Out of the office, that rarely happens.

The other problem at the office is the constant phone calls. When I am out of the office, the calls go to my e-mail. I pre-prepare the answers, and then return calls all at once. It's so much more economical, timewise, but I hate to not be there for my clients if I am in the office. Somehow, it seems okay outside of the office, as long as I return calls quickly.

The real advantage, though, is the smell of coffee and the casual atmosphere of the coffee shop. I am happy here, so work doesn't feel like work. I really need to sneak out to a coffee shop more often, but I feel guilty when I leave Ander. That's silly really, since I am leaving him with his dad, and at home, his dad would usually be the one taking care of him anyway during coffee shop hours.

Well, I am off to my meeting.

Etcetera.

Up At 8 a.m.

Yep, 8 a.m. That's pretty late for me - or for anyone, I suppose. Ander has suddenly started sleeping until I wake him up. Whatever time that happens to be. It is lovely.

I had a disaster at work last week. My printer went out. We tried to fix it, and that knocked out internet access. Oh, and Alan accidently knocked out internet at home. It was horrible. I really needed to do work, since I took vacation the week before. But I really couldn't, because we just didn't have the tools.

It's all fixed, but sometimes it is still hard to catch-up because my public defender job requires work at random times, and yesterday, the first day the whole system was working again, some public defender work came up.

Etcetera.

Today Sucked

It sucked in that way that only the day right after vacation can suck. The computer network fell apart - no printer or internet until late afternoon and only after spending lunch with my dad fixing it. Oh, and $50 and more work to be done.

No time for lunch. Dinner eaten while driving home. Started raining halfway through the new outdoor Monday night Strollerfit class.

But my wonderful office manager gave me a cool Boss's Day gift. Who know it was even Boss's Day tomorrow? So I have a new personalized workout bag, and a blank notebook.

A blank notebook...

I could do a thousand things with it. List all my complaints so I don't say them out loud. Journal. Note important stuff. Start my novel. Start writing my nonfiction book.

It's beautiful, with a perfect little clasp. I almost don't want to use it, because it's cool just to have it! So suggestions, please. What should I use it for?

Etcetera.

The Life I Secretly Want

I was watching Gossip Girls on tv. Yep, I watch Gossip Girls. And yes, I record it if I'm going to be out. And yes, I probably like it more than Grey's Anatomy (which is in no way a slight to Grey's, a truly awesome hour).

I want to be the poor kids on Gossip Girls. I want to live in their apartment and go the places they go and wear the things they wear. You know, if I am ever forced to be a teenager again. :/

But why not the rich kids? I don't want their lives. They look boring and stuffy. And I've always sort of been like that. (The opposite of my hubby, I might add.)

Money meant little to me as I grew up, and still means little, as long as I had the minimum I needed to pay meals and buy the ocassional cup of coffee. Having just gone on vacation, which cost quite a bit even when we budgeted, I understand that having a little money makes things easier, but it's time that I want rather than things. And money can only buy so much time.

Etcetera.

Crazy Person Magnets

That's what Alan and I are - crazy people magnets.

Today's crazy person gave us a speech about the importance of education while we were stuck riding on the trolley. And if we don't pay for Ander's education...but, and this is key - absolutely nothing else - Ander will grow up to kill us for life insurance proceeds. And after the decently dressed guy finished telling us that fascinating nugget of wisdom, he got off the trolley at the homeless shelter.

I guess the running shorts and t-shirts and ponytail and hats hid the sign that said we are overeducated.

Etcetera.

It Is Not Possible

How is it possible that Ander can be so well behaved on vacation? He sits through long meals (bread course, then salad course, then meal course) and feeds himself and quietly babbles to us during meals. He says please and thank you. He goes to a restaurant at 9 p.m. (something we would never do at home), says night night and goes to sleep in his stroller while mommy and daddy have coffee (mommy) and drinks (daddy, who by the way, is a light weight who gets tipsy on a girly drink ;)). He did have a meltdown in the zoo, but I thought the San Antonion Zoo sucked too, and was minutes from a meltdown myself. :/ I just don't understand it. He is happier on vacation, shuttling him back and forth and with messed up sleep schedules, than he is at home. He was even pretty good at Seaworld, which is crazy active. Joel, a friend of our's kid, was very well-behaved, too, but Joel was just having one day away from home. Ander has had five days now, and is still behaving.

I suspect it's the constant attention from mom and dad that is creating this amazing behavior, but that sucks, because what is going to happen when we get home? {eyes bulging}

Etcetera.

The Alamo

So we saw the Alamo. Is it wrong that we didn't go in? :)

Seriously, the Riverwalk is really pretty. I like the Mexican food (although Alan seems to be suffering because of it) and all the people in this area are really nice. Yesterday, we stopped in Houston and had a playdate at the mall, and today, we visited the Riverwalk and watched a movie at the Imax about Dinasours.

We bought Ander a real leash. It has Elmo on it. Puppy is great, and I'll still use him in the local mall, but he's too furry and hot to use at the Riverwalk. Though the Elmo leash has a real leash aspect, we just used the wrist part. Basically, instead of having to hold our hand, Ander could hold our hand or walk up to three or four feet away. He loved it! He would get as far behind us as he could, and then run, laughing, as far in front of us as he could. Then he would stop and wait for us to pass him, and start all over.

Still, several people commented on how he was on a leash like a dog. {eyes bulging} WTF? And they acted like I couldn't hear them commenting, which leads me to believe they must think I am deaf. :/

That's nothing compared to the constant comments we got because we wore LSU gear in UT territory. :)

Etcetera.

I Am About to Clean the House

...and then visit Rach and her kids at an outing and then cook and then make a packing list, and none of this even considers all the work I have to do for work. I cannot wait to start my vacation. Alan and I haven't been on vacation in so long. But why does a vacation require so much work?

Etcetera.

A Visit to Dear Prudence

I was reading a "Dear Prudence" question from a person "concerned" that a one year old daughter of a friend was watching too much tv. Prudence suggested waiting until the friend brings up tv watching, and then offering that you read that tv watching is bad for one year olds.

Um, no.

I'm sure tv watching is probably bad for one year olds. Breastfeeding is best. You should never raise your voice to your child. And so on. Probably all mostly true.

But the person writing the question and Prudence (though usually right) are both WRONG.

You shouldn't wait to tell your friend.

Oh, if the topic comes up, feel free to share your opinion:

"We bought our 6 month old a tv."

"Really. Wow. I would never do that. I think tv is bad for kids."

Feel free to share your views on your blog.

Feel free to write to Congress and try to pass laws banning tv.

If your friend asks for your opinion, feel free to give it.

Feel free to whatever.

EXCEPT...don't wait for an opportunity to judge and criticize your friend under the guise of friendly conversation. If you wait for the opportunity to say something that's not your business to say, you are just as bad as the person who just says something that's not your business to say.

I'm just saying.

Etcetera.

My New Desk Area

I moved my office totally around today. Basically, my office has three distinct areas (well, four, if you count the bathroom). I hesitate to call them offices, because we have real walls, but no doors. When I first moved in, and had to run the whole thing by myself, I had to use the biggest area because it was the only one with a counter (built-in) big enough for the copy machine, and because I needed to see the door for security reasons, and I needed to have access to everything, since I had no help.

Over time, I got a secretary/office manager and a student worker. The secretary got the obvious reception area, and the student worker got the more private, but not wired for a computer, area.

Well, now I have a laptop. I don't need a wired computer - just a nice, spacious office (with a window, woo hoo). So we rearranged. I am very, very happy. The student worker will also like it, I think, since most of her work is done by the copier/files, and she won't have to come into my office to do her work or have me sitting there watching her while she is doing the work, anymore.

Etcetera.

A Baby Story

Usually I watch the news in the morning. Plus, I usually leave the house at either 8 or 9 a.m., depending on whether I have Strollerfit. But today, I had to leave the house later, because I have work stuff that will make me miss Strollerfit on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. So I stayed home this morning. In an odd turn of events, Ander slept in a little (until 7 a.m.) and went back to sleep at 8 a.m. (making me sure that he is getting sick, despite no other symptoms), and the news was crap, so I watched A Baby Story. I hadn't really watched it since I was pregnant.

It made me angry.

There was a woman who wanted a drug-free VBAC (vaginal birth after a prior c-section). No, that's not the part that made me angry. :) I don't understand (and will never really understand, despite many of my friends efforts to explain) why a person would not get an epidural in most cases (yum, epi...), but I really think that they are entitled to try for a drug-free birth, if that is what they want.

But I really felt like this lady was prepared to endanger her baby, and I find that unacceptable. She was 42 1/2 weeks pregnant, and her midwife was worried. There were no signs of labor, and the midwife went through all the statistics regarding fetal problems that happen after 42 weeks. Basically, the placenta generally starts to stop working after that time. It might not, of course, but the problem is that once it does, it can harm or kill the baby, and you might not know it's not working until it's too late. The lady clearly knew this; she was a doula. Still, she resisted an induction.

It really shocked me how much it made me angry. But it struck me the same way it strikes me when a mom leaves her toddler all alone in the play area in mall. It's irresponsible parenting.

Except that everyone would say the mom in the mall was irresponsible, but few would dare question the mom who chooses her birth plan, even if she takes it to the point that it is irresponsible. Thank God her midwife was strong, and articulate, and frankly, did not take no for an answer. Basically, to avoid induction, this woman would have had to gone against medical advice. Everyone wanted the perfect birth for this woman, but as a mom of a preemie, let me tell you that sometimes the perfect birth is just impossible.

Etcetera.

Organizing The Calories

Well, I did decent yesterday with calorie counting. I didn't eat at a weight loss level, but I did at a maintaining level, and considering that we ate out with Brien and he brought naughty dark chocolate chip cookies into the house...

I am keeping a list of common foods that I eat and their calories in my calorie log. I am not including foods where the calories are right there on the label, but only foods that are not labeled, like a restaurant meal or a banana. It seems managable, and actually quite easy, to do so far. Having the internet virtually always accessible to look up calories really helps.

I've decided that Sparkpeople and Calorie-Counter and other on-line systems are just too complicated, so I won't use them. I am using two memos in my pda - one to keep track of the daily calories and one to keep track of calories in certain foods:

Calories - Daily Log
Sun 092307 - 360
Sat 092207 - 1990

Calories - Tracking
COMMON FOODS:
Banana 110
McGriddle, egg 340
Pizza, D'Ang (2 slc - pep and tom) 460

Easy peezy. Maybe I'll actually keep up with it doing it this way.

Etcetera.

Rereading Supernanny

Poor Ander. I'm rereading Supernanny. I do that every few months, since Ander is developmenting to a different age group. On the cover of the main book, Supernanny carries a purse that is exactly like a purse I won. It's kind of freaky.

The Raising Cane guy is on tv, as a parent of young children. Wow, that makes me old.

Etcetera.

Tracking Calories

Michelle visited and brought her Weight Watchers materials with her. I am very intrigued. I've been exercising religiously, four times a week, for months now. I'm in much better shape, but clearly could stand to lose some weight. In the past, calorie counting was the only thing that helped. But I had trouble keeping track of the calories.

But I've been thinking, and with my new laptop, I think it'll be much easier to count calories, especially if I do in in a Palm memo so the Palm is in my purse when I'm at a restaurant. My laptop is open and ready at home and at work, so it's easy to access the calorie log in those places. So I'll be starting, again, to keep track.

I'm not doing Weight Watchers, though. Meetings are just too touchy feely for me, plus I already pay a bunch for Strollerfit. Strollerfit is totally worth it, but I can find calorie databases on-line. I'll do weigh-ins and evaluations of how I did the week before on Sundays. Maybe I'll even blog about it, to make myself more accountable.

Or, maybe, I'll give up by Tuesday. :/

Etcetera.

Can't Wait To Read The Book

So this guy tried to live by the word of the Bible - the literal word - for a year.

I am fascinated.

Etcetera.

Will The Day Ever Come...

...when Ander spits, smears, or throws food onto my husband, and said husband actually blames Ander instead of me? {eyes popping out}

Etcetera.

Why Are People Offended...

...by other people's opinions? I've been thinking about this a lot with the Jena Six. How others treat us, of course, matters. If people don't trust and respect me, they won't hire me to be their lawyer. If I am insufferable, no one will want to visit with me. But what about what they think?

It's fair to judge others based on what they believe, of course. There are many people that I don't care for and wouldn't be around, simply based on their racism or sexism.

But it's not my job to control or try to change their opinion. If they are stupid enough to be openly racist, that doesn't offend me. If they act on the racism, of course, I am quite offended. But their beliefs, whether sane or insane, don't affect me until and unless they take action based on them.

I guess this really became clear when I started parenting. I am never offended by others just because they don't parent the way I do or because they don't believe in formula feeding, strollers and carriers, or timeouts for young toddlers. But I am offended as soon as someone else takes action - a random stranger in public lectures me on breastfeeding or a relative tells me (or worse, tells Ander during timeout) that timeout is not okay for someone so young. I am not offended by the thought/belief/position, but the interceding/action drives me nuts!

Etcetera.

Madeleine L'Engle Died

About two weeks ago, at the age of 88.

"A Wrinkle in Time" is one of my favorite books ever. I totally identify with Meg, the main character.

http://www.slate.com/id/2174330

Etcetera.

WAHM

When Ander woke us up at 6:30 a.m. (sigh), I went ahead and gave him his milk sippy and sat at my laptop and did some work. It's now an hour later, Ander is dressed for the day (we took little breaks due to a stinky diaper and his discovery that he had socks...yes, momma, I must wear them now...sigh...on the table). He watched cartoons (and half slept) while I watched the news (how 'bout that Jena Six, huh?) and did some nonbillable work (meaning work essential to my practice, but not for clients, per se). I got so muhc done in that tiny little hour. Having a laptop means I can use the whole island in the kitchen to work and spread out my files. It's great. I feel so productive. I still have time to pack clothing for this afternoon (I'm going straight to my mom's after Strollerfit to babysit all the kids while she gets her hair cut) so I can get work done at work, too. Excellent.

Brien is coming to town. And Michelle is visiting at some point. It should be fun.

We are considering a vacation trip to Austin or San Antonio. What should we not miss (considering we'll have a toddler along) if we go to either?

Etcetera.

Check Out

My new Interesting Reads link, bottom right side of screen, and see what speaks to me.

Etcetera.

Organizing Dream

Having a laptop means I can use Palm Desktop as I do my work. Score! It saves so much time to enter billables directly, or change tasks, or send the staff an email with an assignment. It even makes working more fun. Right now, I'm watching the news, doing some brainless nonbillable work, and Alan is playing xbox. Happiness all around. Well, as much happiness you get while you are working.

I use my pda for everything, so this is really, really nice. Since I work away from the office so often, it was getting old always having to sync my pda and then make changes at a coffee shop or from home with a stylus. Now, I just keep my laptop handy while I work, and there it is.

Am I too easily excited?

He he.

How do other moms survive without a planner or pda?

Etcetera.

Excellent New Toy

I'm blogging from my new laptop! It is wonderful. I can't believe I can sit anywhere in my house, coffeeshops, my mom's house, and work, and be on the computer. Now, to teach Ander that he can't play with mom's new toy.

Etcetera.

Pregnancy Is Catchy

In Strollerfit today, another mom said she is pregnant again. Her little girl is two months younger than Ander. In class, there was a women in her second trimester (whose kid is about 2), one in her first trimester, and a mom with her six week old and her one year old! People kept leaving class looking green! I just hope the instructor isn't pregnant. (She had a gleam in her eye when the other mommy was announcing, and she waits to tell; I think she said that before.) I would hate to have Strollerfit maternity leave. :(

Etcetera.

Sleep Issues

Ander is suddenly having sleep issues again. He's fine until 9 p.m., when we actually say the words "night night." He instantly throws a fit. Usually he's ready for bed, but just doesn't want to go. Last night, he cried for almost a half hour. I had to be pretty stern with him to get him to go to sleep. It's the same fit he throws when he doesn't get his way. It's so obvious what he is going to do. Whichever parent returns to the room to retuck him in, he screams for the other parent. :) I don't know why, because it never works.

I expect that anyday now, he'll figure out that he can climb out of his crib. He hasn't yet, though. Then we'll have to follow the Supernanny technique of return to bed and say "night night," then just return to bed without comment.

He's also waking up around 4 a.m. every morning. He still seems asleep, except that he's crying and begging to get out of bed. Alan goes and tucks him back in, but it's happening more and more times a morning, so we might need a new plan. I suggested earplugs, but Alan seems to not like that idea. :/

Etcetera.

My In-Box At Work

Why oh why must my in-box always be so...well...full. I have so much to do, and physically looking at the in-box overwhelms me. At least I don't have an in-box at home, so I can just pretend like I have nothing to do there.

Etcetera.

Shared Articles

E's puts here "shared articles" link it her blog. I wish I could figure that out, so I could share things I am reading, too. Of course, lots of what I actually read on-line is through very popular sites, like Slate, or forums, which don't really do well for shared items.

I've already done two hours of legal work, got the oil changed, and worked out today. And it's only lunchtime. I've been such an over-achiever. Perhaps now I should take a nap. ;)

Etcetera.

Mommy Blogs

I really like reading mommy blogs. I enjoy seeing what other kids Ander's age are doing, and I like knowing I'm facing similiar situations as others and seeing how they are facing them.

But I am noticing a real lack of moms like me in Bloghood. I'm a strong disciplinarian, a working mom, and I focus on practical considerations (like how to get Ander to clean his room) more than other moms who are out there blogging.

I think I sort of understand the trend. Strong disciplinarians, for the most part, don't spend a lot of time thinking about discipline. They expect obedience, and that is that. No need to blog about it. But I have a Master's degree in education, and for what it's worth, I think about discipline techniques all the time. I want Ander to learn how to act, and not just to obey. But it leaves me pretty alone in the blogosphere, because others don't stop and think about these things all day long. Or if they do, they don't write about it. They are focused on getting through the day without a tantrum (understandably), and I am focused on the choices Ander will make when he is sixteen (mostly because of my training and education).

Working moms, obviously, have less time to blog.

And most moms, nah - most people, are more into the emotional connection of parenting than I am. They breastfeed, find relaxation, and blog about the wonderful connection with their babies. I think, how can I feed the baby more efficiently so I can do it less. :/ They play with their babies and find it peaceful and blog about it. I think, is an hour enough playtime. Let's work on our ABC's. Or play the color game. How can I possibly give him all the information he needs to know before he turns 18? It's not that parenting isn't emotional for me. It's the most emotional thing I've ever done. It's that, for me, blogging is not usually about the emotion. It's about finding ways to deal with the practicalities of parenting and finding out how others deal.

I've been reading lots of mom blogs, and while the titles hint at such wonderful content (ie. Diary of a Playgroup Dropout, which is a great blog, but doesn't help me with practicalities), most of the content is about homeschooling (something I would only do in a very specific situation, such as if I was working for the State Department and traveling to foreign countries constantly), or cloth diapering (something I would likely only do if I had a full-time nanny and maid, and then only while nanny was in charge, like during the work day {blushing at own laziness} - totally because I'm lazy, since the environment impact really appeals to me), or baby-wearing (something I minimize for practicalities sake and to encourage independence, which is definitely not a popular way to parent right now).

Where's the "This Is How We Get Ready for Daycare in Ten Minutes or Less" blog? Or the "Preparing Healthy Snacks for Playdates"? Or the "List of Exercise With Your Baby DVDs"? I guess I should write those, huh? :) I'd love to hear that from others, and that just isn't what they talk about. And when I do talk about such things on my blgo, I always get a ton of sympathetic, "oh, Kristy, are you struggling/okay" comments, which are sweet, but miss the point. I'm THINKING about these things. Even if they aren't cool to think about.

I'm really thinking about writing a book. About the practicalities of parenting. If I just spent an hour or two a day writing...I have so much to say. And you might not be able to tell from my blog writing, which is like a stream of conscienceness, but I actually can write a grammatically correct sentence. It's sort of a requirement for being a lawyer.

Etcetera.

Uninvited

The most offensive thing happened yesterday. It's something my BIL did. Don't worry, I already told him how unhappy I am, so I'm not just talking behind his back. Sigh.

Alan and I decided to take a nap at 4:30 p.m. Ander was refusing to sleep (even though he needed a nap, too) and around 4:45 p.m., I told Alan that I bet the second I fell asleep, the phone would ring. I don't remember anything after that. Until 5:05 p.m.

My BIL called and woke me from sleep. Normally I would not have answered, but one of my sisters had mentioned earlier in the day that she was having car trouble, and I was worried they might be stranded somewhere.

"Want to go to Ninfa's?"

"Um."

"Come on. Two of your sisters will be there. It'll be fun."

I thought about it. I had wanted Ninfa's for a while now, and I can't really visit with my sister today (her birthday), so yesterday seemed a good time.

"Let me ask Alan."

"Okay, y'all be here by 6 p.m. Oh, and your sister got off work at 5 p.m. She's waiting outside her office. Could y'all pick her up so she doesn't have to wait an hour for me?"

"Um, okay." (Thinking: "I don't want her to wait that long if she is stranded at her office. Even if her husband is being an idiot and that's why she is stranded.") (Aside: She actually had her car, working fine, with her, and didn't understand why we were picking her up. Heck, we didn't understand it either. :/)

So we rush to get ourselves and the baby ready. Alan leaves to pick up my sister from her office in Gonzales so we'll get there in time.

And then, around 5:25 p.m., while Alan is gone, picking up my sister, it happens. THE UNINVITE.

Ring. Ring. B-ring.

"Hello."

"Um, Kristy, here's the thing. Some other people are coming, and well, you have a kid..."

Yep, he uninvited me.

I explained that I woke Alan up from a nap to pick up his wife and go to a meal that Alan didn't really want to go to, and he could find another solution or Alan would surely kick his bootie, and we'd be there at 6 p.m., regardless of what BIL decided.

I don't bring Ander into situations that would be inappropriate, but I swear that Ninfa's is one of his favorite places and he sits quietly and doesn't bother others.

Sigh.

Ninfa's ended up being excellent, and to his credit, BIL apologized and acted acceptable during the meals, but geesh!

I totally understand an adult night versus a night with kids. I like an adult night on a fairly regular basis. But in a group of seven, with only one person not expecting (but notably, not complaining about either) a baby to show up, you don't make it adults-only AFTER the invite (pre-invite would have been absolutely fine) because one person might prefer no babies.

Etcetera.

Silly Hurricane

I close down my office when there is a hurricane or tornado threat. That might seem silly, especially for such a small hurricane as this one, but the building is not incredibly strong and the doorway leaks, so we have to take specific precautions, like putting the computer hard drives up on tables and backing up the computers and unplugging all electronic media, and at that point, it's not worth sitting in the office. These precautions have to be taken whether or not the storm actually hits. And since there is a flood threat in my office's parish, the office is closed.

This is good news for my staff. I still pay them, and they sneak in and do a quick "emergency checklist," and then go home for the day. As you might imagine, they really like this policy.

But for me, it's pretty bad news. I had to make the call to close the office at 6:30 a.m., and go down immediately and take care of things. I wasn't worried about winds, but since a heavy downpour floods the office, I had to take care of that before the raining started.

Ander woke up to go down, of course, and has since refused to take a nap. He is in a great mood, but I went to bed a little late, and got up an hour earlier than usual, and worked from 7-8:30 a.m., drove back to Strollerfit, worked out from 9:30-10:30 a.m., discovered that the electricity was out all over Prairieville (hello? there was barely any wind. why no electricity?), went eat lunch with my sister at her cafeteria since I couldn't go home and cook, went to home to discover that, although electricity all around us was off, ours actually wasn't, and did some work. Through all this, Ander is still awake. In a good mood, but what's the point of a storm day if you don't at least get a quick nap?

Etcetera.

Self Sufficiency

It is really important to me that Ander become self-sufficient. We've taken a big step in that direction by taking away the diaper bag and giving him a cute little Elmo backpack. He says "Elmo" and "backpack" now, and he carries it everywhere. It holds a couple of diapers, wipes, a snack, a sippy, and a small toy. When he gets out of the car, he wears Elmo. I feel so free, and he is so proud to do it himself.

He also is learning that when he gets out of the car, he has to put his hands in the "square." It's the cover of the gas cap area, really, but it gives me a second to grab whatever (his backpack, for example) from the car without him running into the parking lot or the street. Obviously, I'll never be able to totally trust that as a way to get him not to run into the street, but it's a useful step towards keeping him safe and letting him be somewhat responsible for his actions.

And today, he tried to put his pants on himself. He failed miserably :), but it was fun watching him try. I've almost got him taking his own shoes off and bringing them to the area where we store shoes. And he puts his toys and books (and my shoes) all in their proper places at the end of the day.

He has also almost totally stopped throwing food on the floor. Instead, he tells us when he is done eating and hands us the bowl.

I am really liking that he can take care of so many things himself. It really makes a huge difference in my day, and he's still at a stage where it's fun for him. 'Course, I'll still make him do these things even when they aren't fun, but for now, this is working spendidly.

Etcetera.

A Gecko

I know lots of women complain that there are lots of things their husbands should refrain from doing. Farting in public comes to mind. {eyes rolling} I have no such complaints. I am quite happy with my husband, thank you very much.

Except...well...except for one thing.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO NOT TELL YOUR WIFE THERE IS A GECKO IN THE MASTER BATHROOM RIGHT BEFORE SHE FALLS ASLEEP.

I'm not scared of geckos, but there is a time and a place, and I don't want to look under the toilet seat for one as I stumble into the bathroom at 3 a.m.

I'm just saying.

Etcetera.

Children in Public

With the recent nurse-ins around the country and, well, with my child approaching the terrible twos with gusto :(, I've been thinking alot about how Ander is expected to behave in public, and how we (Alan and I) as parents behave in public.

My first rule is totally, 100% stolen from E. She once told me that she cannot control how her child acts; she can only control how she acts and her reaction to her child. I thought it was an excellent philosophy, and over time, it's become an important part of my parenting philosophy.

But beyond that, I've always had very specific ideas about the "public" side of parenting. I've always thought that a huge part of a parent's responsibility in public was to ensure that childcare and the child himself did not interfere with others comfort. The child does not know how to act in public, with respect and consideration of others, and it is the parent's responsibility to teach the child.

Even when I was pregnant, I knew that I would take great pains to not make others uncomfortable just because I had a child. When I was planning to nurse, for example, and if and when I do nurse future children (as my problems are not expected to reoccur, and if they do, the doctors feels better about their ability to treat them), I knew that I would take great pains to cover-up when nursing, even if it meant purchasing a special cover-up that didn't actually touch the child (as sometimes a simple blanket in South Louisiana really is too hot). I was, and am, should the opportunity arise, prepared to be the most discrete nurser ever.

I didn't think of this point of view as a general idea about how one should parent (I thought it was specific to how I planned to breastfeed), but I am realizing, especially now that Ander is approaching an, um, challenging age, that in general, I think parent have an obligation to minimize their child's impact on others.

For example, I expect Ander to give up his seat to any adult in the room. I remind him, and I won't hesitate to take him off the seat if an adult walks in.

I expect him to sit quietly through dinner at a restaurant. We've been practicing since he was little, and he is getting very good at it. If he misbehaves, I'm perfectly willing to take him out of the area, because not disturbing other diners is a priority. But I won't take him outside for misbehavior (though I will to give him a little break during a long meal). For misbehavior, he goes in the corner in the bathroom. Pesto. Not disturbing others, facing an age-appropriate consequence, and we get to go back to dinner without rewarding him for acting up.

I don't let him roam around coffee shops or malls. He is holding my hands or in his stroller. This is a big one, because roaming would give him lots of opportunities to explore and is fairly safe, so I can see the value in it. Nonetheless, I find that it's just not something I can do as a parent. I am very focused on discipline and that overrides the "explore" aspect for me, and that's just how I am.

I understand just how high my expectations are for a child not yet two. I understand that keeping up this level of discipline will be a challenge. I think it's worth it; I truly do. But it will be/is hard as he goes through toddlerhood. I know there will be days when I just give up and give in. I think that's why I'm writing this. I'm thinking it out, you know? Trying to build my resolve to do what I think is right, even when I know it won't be easy.

(Aside to Dave - I know parenting philosophy blogs drive you crazy. I'll try to be more interesting next time. ;))

Etcetera.

Desk A Mess

I'm catching up on cleaning all the little areas around my house where things pile up, like by my bed, but my office desk just seems to get higher and higher piles. I am usually so organized, but it's hard to organize when you are not actually in the office much, with court and CLEs. So this afternoon, I'm playing catch-up. Of course, that means I'll be behind on everything else.

Etcetera.

Whiney Whiney Whiney

I mean, seriously, son, do you need some cheese with that wine? 'Cause I always enjoy a spot of cheese with my whine.

So I've decided that for whining, I simply don't respond. If Ander manages to catch my eye, I remind him ONCE to use his big boy words. If he is kicking and screaming and could hurt himself, I move him, without comment, to a safer spot. If he does use his words, I praise like CrAzY. It reduces the whining, a bit, when I am consistent, but it does not reduce my nerves.

Whining increases nerves, you know. Makes you want happy pills. Or earplugs. Or a vacation.

Oh, and this is Ander in a good mood. I am often assured it is just a stage, with the assurances followed by an omninous warning...that it doesn't end until about age 19. Sigh.

Etcetera.

Attending CLE

Continuing legal education. It's dull and boring. But that's okay, because there's always good food. Only, the food sucked. The only good thing was the coffee, so I drank four cups. Too much coffee, just in case you wondered. :/

Brien introduced me to the British version of Coupling. I am addicted! It is so good, and funny, and sweet. It makes me want to dress better, and then I realize that I already dress better than the Brits. :)

Etcetera.

What A Difference

Showing up at work after a relaxing weekend just makes things go so much smoother. For example, I don't forget to put water in Ander's sippy cup before leaving the gym, which means that when Ander gets cranky 10 minutes from my mom's house, he can drink peacefully instead of screaming. Very nice.

Sunday is Grandparents Day. Yah, I know, stupid holiday, yadda yadda. Send them a card anyway. It'll make them happy.

Etcetera.

Darn That Misty and Lorna

They sucked me in!

Brien had a book on his bookshelf. Bloodsucking Fiends. I asked about it. "Misty and Lorna said it was great, so I got it. It's good." I don't always trust Brien's taste in books, but how could I mistrust such good people as Misty and Lorna? So I read it.

It sucked. Pun totally intended.

Maybe Misty and Lorna meant it would be really good for Brien? :)

Etcetera.

Hanging In Monroe

Huge bedroom and jacuzzi bath.

Steak.

Someone ELSE to entertain my husband and child.

Afternoon nap.

If it wasn't for the smell of bootiehole...

Etcetera.

I Am Not Gay

Got your attention, didn't I?

Why does that crazy Senator from the midwest keep saying that? Loudly. With such judgment? Makes me want to pull my hair out. It not that he says he is not gay. (After all, I'm not gay, either.)

It's the way he says it.

Dude, you were in trouble for soliciting sex in a public restroom. You'd be in just as much trouble if the sex was solicited from a woman. (Or, at least, you should be.) Gay is not the problem.

I don't know if he is innocent or guilty. But I have learned a lot about him from the tone of his denial. I just wish the news would quit replaying it, because it's giving me a headache.

Etcetera.

Addiction

How do you know you are addicted to coffee? When you drop a quarter in your morning cup, but drink it anyway, because hey, it's coffee.

Etcetera.

Thinking About Calendaring

I am getting a free laptop from my contract employer. That's exciting stuff. In response, I am considering how I will handle my calendar. I mostly use my pda while on my computer at work. It's very convenient and I can type in tons of information at once. If I am away from the computer, I can use the portability function of my pda.

But with a laptop, how will I handle backups? Will I have to back up my pda on both computers?

Okay, boring fodder for my loyal readers, but I keep thinking about this stuff.

I need a new purse.

And no, I'm not psycho. It's just early in the morning, and my thoughts are scattered.

Etcetera.

Tough Weekend

It was a long, mostly sleepless weekend. There was drama at MIL's. involving cops and drugs and ending with us having to take drastic measures to protect Ander. There was much crying and anger. I am exhausted.

Last night, when we finally got home, all we could do is nap. Ander sweetly accomodated us, and in exchange, we let him stay up an hour past bedtime (since he slept from 4-7 p.m. with mommy and daddy).

Alan asked me to do the dishes when we woke up, but there was no way I was doing dishes, bone-tired, after 10 p.m. After a full night's sleep, though, I not only did the dishes, but I also unpacked and cleared off the island in the kitchen.

Now, if I can just get through this pile of work at the office.

Etcetera.

Ramping It Up

I was pretty sick last week. I mean like pass out, can't function, the world is ending sick. I am 100% better, but now I have to pay for all that time lying on the couch.

Billables, billables, billables. What fun!

Blah!

Etcetera.

15 Years

Alan kissed me for the first time 15 years ago today. I also started college that day! Boy, are we old!!!

Etcetera.

Computer Goodness

I'm getting a free laptop! I'm pretty stoked. The indigent defender office I work for is giving the attorneys laptops. I really needed one (well, specifically, I needed another computer, but laptops cost about the same as desktops these days), but it wasn't in the budget. So it's a happy bit 'o news.

I'm feeling better today. Not great, mind you, but 100% better. Ander's nose is running like a faucet and he's coughing. Yuck. I am actually considering going to Strollerfit, if my feeling better continues, and will probably go to work regardless (since I feel better, just maybe not better enough to exercise). But I'm giving it a little while, because yesterday I felt bad, but thought to myself that I was only missing work because I'm the boss and I can, so I went anyway. On the way, I got so overcome with stomach distress and weakness that I thought that if I wasn't the boss, I'd definitely be calling in sick. I then suffered (mostly in the bathroom) all day and last night I was weak and sore. So I'm taking the morning very leisurely, and we shall see if I really feel better as time for Strollerfit comes. Ander really needs to rest. He woke early the last couple of days, and he has such a bad cold. But he won't lie down, so I guess we are in for a long day of whiney toddler.

I am really working hard on not giving in to the whine. Really hard. I've been ignoring the whine, except to remind him once to use his big boy words if he wants something. When the whine is accompanied by attempts to hit/bite/otherwise maim mommy, he gets a warning and then gets puts in timeout. That usually does the trick, but he is not stopping until after timeout now, when before, a warning about timeout usually took care of the problem. So I spend a lot of time waiting for him to finish his timeout time (30 seconds at a time, but he gets silently put back everytime he leaves the corner, so it can actually take a couple of minutes, at least the first time of each day).

Etcetera.

Ugh

Ugh. Oh, I said that already? Well, ugh, anyway.

I feel like I've been beat up. I spent most of yesterday in the bathroom, and this morning, the mere thought that food exists makes me want to hurl. My head, especially where Ander hit it in the bridge of the nose weeks ago, feels like it might explode. Ander seems fine. His diapers are extra stinky, but Alan assures me that my nose just seems extra-sensitive with the stomach virus I have.

I'n trying to get up the energy to drive to work (working out is out of the question), but I'm so sleepy and very attached to the bathroom, so it may take a while to be good enough to ride in a car for 30 minutes. I wish Ander would spontaneously decide to take a long morning nap, but he has given up the morning nap, so that's not happening.

Oh, we are finally going to visit Brien in Monroe. Soon.

Etcetera.

In Baby News...

At 9 pounds, Rich, Rach, and Nick welcomed Zoe Claudia into the world today. Mom and Nick's little sister are doing fine. Rach says she's up for company, so let me know if you want her room number at the hospital. Nick and Zoe won't have to share a birthday now!

Etcetera.

My Mom

My dad told us the funniest story about my mom today. He pointed out that you have to read between the lines a bit to understand her sometimes.

My uncle had a baby this week. (Yep, that makes my youngest first cousin 32 years younger than me.)

My mom ran to the backyard and shouted to my dad, who was painting a truck in the garage:

"The baby came home. It's leaking. He doesn't know what to do."

My dad suggested that if the baby was leaking, perhaps the best course of action was to send it back to the hospital. I took a more practical approach and suggested a diaper. ;)

Apparently, the baby did in fact come home, to a house that had sprung a leak in one of the pipes, and my uncle didn't know how to fix the leaky pipe.

:)

Etcetera.

Like A Bug To A Light

...but without the satisfying pop-squish.

I have such bad luck in public places with annoying people approaching me. This morning, a 50ish gentleman was behind me in line at the coffee shop.

Man - How old is your little boy?

What I Should Have Said - 1 year. Excuse me, Mr. Coffeeshop owner, may I have more cream?

What I Said - 17 months.

Apparently, what I said was an invitation.

Man - What's his name?

What I Should Have Said - Ander. I'm sorry, but I have to get back to my work now.

What I Said - Andersen.

Man - Oh, but what did you just call him? Ander? Well, isn't that odd? Like Anderson Cooper? People call him Andy? No? Well, they will, whether you like it or not. You just watch. Andy, hey little fella. Hey Andy.

Man - So what's he going to be when he grows up, a doctor?

What I Should Have Said - I don't know. Sorry, I really have to get back to work.

What I Said - I don't know.

Man - As long as he doesn't become a lawyer.

Sigh.

It went on and on. Apparently, all women politicians are crap. LSU is crap and Tulane is great. If you get in trouble in high school for cheating, you should just stop going to class. In your divorce, you should tell the other lawyer off just for existing. My child was clearly being obnoxious, because he said "please" and "thank you" and that is, just so you know, him "playing" me. Oh, and I shouldn't give him that empty lead pencil and piece of paper so he can be like mommy, because he might poke his eye out and want to become a lawyer. And did I really just feed him cinnamon roll for breakfast? What about fruit? Didn't I think he needed juice in his sippy cup? Wow, am I really going to make him say thank you or not give him more of the cinnamon roll (his second breakfast, BTW)?

I kept turning away and trying to work, and the creepy guy just kept talking to me. There were tons of people in the coffee shop, all working, and they were clearly annoyed by him, too.

Why do I attract crazy people? And why do they think that they are entitled to comment on my parenting? Sigh, sigh, sigh.

I really need to work on the pop-squish.

Etcetera.

So Many Children

We had a really nice time seeing John and Misty (and their two lovely kids) this weekend. Planning was pretty last minute. We cleaned and cooked, and eventually, people started to show up and all went smoothly. But it was scary how many kids were there!

There were babies. There were toddlers. There were preschoolers. There were school-aged children.

Alan decided (smartly) that toys had to stay in the toy room, or the adults would have no room to walk around. (Well, the babies could take toys out, of course, but not toddlers on up.) Of course, the kids didn't love that idea, so much time was spent herding the toys back into the room. Ander and JD, both of whom spend enough time with our toys to know they are usually allowed out, just looked confused. Some of the other kids just seemed to think the grown-ups must be stupid. :) But when clean up time came, I LOVED LOVED LOVED the rule. It might become a new rule in my house.

Etcetera.

Nose Job

Ander inadvertantly (at least, I presume it was inadvertant :/) hit me in the nose last night.

It still hurts really bad today.

:(

Etcetera.

An E-mail Conversation

Keep in mind that Alan hates seafood.

Kristy's e-mail:

We are invited to my aunt's crab boil Friday night. Also, I am home sick today. The more I tried to get ready, the more rundown I felt. My throat is blazing, my ear is hurting, my head is pounding, and I'm pretty sure I'm running a fever. Unfortunately, Ander is very healthy and running at 100 miles per hour.

Alan's reply e-mail:

Have you talked to your sister about our niece spending the night? You could pick her up after work on Thursday and bring her back down when you visit for the wedding on Saturday.

Kristy's reply e-mail:

And you choose to ignore the mounds of free, boiled crabs?

Alan's reply e-mail:

Oh, I read it wrong. I thought I was ignoring mounds of free boiled crawfish.

Sigh.

Etcetera.

Yuck

I just turned on the tv. I think Ander thought I was putting on Sesame Street and went to kiss Big Bird. But I turned on the news, and Alberto Gonzales was on the scene. He gave the Attorney General a big sloppy kiss. Ick!

Etcetera.

I Find Myself...

Trying to blog, but with little to say.

Ander has started using some sentences, particularly if he gets to sign them. More milk, please. More food, please. Ma ma, up. Okay, I guess those are phrases more than sentences, but you get the point.

I'm hiring a new student worker at the office, because my old one is going off to another college.

I really want to review HP, but can't do it without spoilers.

Etcetera.

New Purse

I got a new purse. Pre-Ander, I used itty bitty purses, and keep most of the essentials that don't melt in Louisiana heat (checkbook, pens, etc.) in my car. Post-Ander, I used gigantic purses that could carry a diaper. So, now that diapers are not usually an emergency and come at predictable times, so I can just keep some in my car, I needed a medium/small purse (since I don't have room to keep everything in my car anymore ).

I got the cutest red bag to use. It fits in my briefcase (for court days) and my tote bag (for errand/work at coffee shop days) and Ander's diaper bag (for playdates), but it works just as well by itself.

I would have (in other waords, was willing to spend) spent a lot for it, but I got it at the outlet mall for just $10. Score!

Etcetera.

Almost Exactly Six Hours Later

I cracked open my HP book at about 12:09 a.m. Almost exactly six hours later, I've read it. Wow. It really does tie up the loose ends and it's very powerful.

Ander did good buying the book. He woke up for a bit in the store and starred at people, but then he went back to sleep. And there was a younger baby there, although my darling husband points out that the younger baby was probably young enough that she is up all night anyway.

Etcetera.

He Speaks The Truth

In the local donut shop this morning, there was a kid about eight or nine years old. He clearly had some sort of problem; I would guess aspbergers (sp?). Anyhow, he asked the lady is they had "twist" donuts. Twist donuts are very popular around these parts, and for some reason, the donut shop never makes enough and runs out. She said, "yes, we have some."

He said, "well, that's good, because you are almost ALWAYS out."

Then he turned to the crazy, cranky old man who hangs out all day long.

"That man is crazy. And old."

He had no filter, and for a precious, fleeting moment, I was totally jealous of him.

Etcetera.

Hand, Foot, and Mouth

E called yesterday and said, based on Ander's symptoms, check for hand, foot, and mouth disease. I already had. No sores. But since E brought it up, I checked the soles of his feet. Two blisters. By three hours later, they were all over his soles and arms and a few were around his mouth.

G-r-e-a-t.

So we are home today. I am going into the office, but I have a client coming in this afternoon, so I'll minimize impact on my sister (whose watching him, since my mom has other kids at her house) by keeping him home part of the day.

It's going to be a long morning. Especially since he's hungry, but it hurts to swallow, so he keeps chewing up food and spitting it out. Ick.

Etcetera.

Spoke Too Soon

I told Stac Carp that Ander was sleeping well. And I truly meant it, at the time.

A half hour after we put him to bed, where he was sleeping before we could even say good night, he started screaming. He must have cried for a half hour. I guess he had a nightmare. He was crying, but sound asleep. Nothing helped, not even holding him.

This morning, he slept late. But he is a cranky bear. Everything (and I mean everything, including the no kick mommy rule) is making him scream. His butt is covered in what looks like pimples (yeast, maybe?), he got a hair caught in his teeth when drinking his milk, and he keeps telling me his feet hurt and asking me to rub them (the one thing that makes him happy right now). He stands at the pantry, but refuses all food except begs for Coke, which he is clearly not getting.

It's going to be a long day.

Etcetera.

It's Been One Of Those Days

Today should have fun. We went to New Orleans to eat lunch with 'Chelle and Britt (and it was nice to see Britt) and then to a family birthday party. But I think we had too much planned. I am exhausted, and moody, and it's Sunday. Actually, Rach called and I was so tired and overwhelmed that I almost just let it go to voicemail. But you don't let an 8-month preggie lady go to voicemail, just in case it's "the call," so I answered. But no, I couldn't hang out, again, because we are quite simply overbooked. You should see my schedule. It's crazy. Working, keeping Ander involved in some social life, and having me time (yah, right) is impossible.

Sigh.

I just want a day of lying around the house eating bons bons. I don't particularly like bons bons, but I'd make the sacrifice for a day of rest.

Etcetera.

Seems Like I Only Post On Saturdays

I saw the HP movie today. Awesome. I'm such a kid about HP. Seriously, though, it's amazing how much this story speaks to me.

My dry erase board keeps crashing to the floor. It was how I was organizing my stuff, but not anymore. How will I keep track of the things I need in my bag in the morning? How will I remember my cell phone? Maybe I'm the only one, but since I've had a baby, I need memory tools to help me or I forget everything.

Etcetera.

I Love The Leash :)

So my sisters and I went to the mall today. Ander was in his stroller, and he really does great in his stroller. I always give him breaks outside of it (playing in the play area and riding the carousel) and he knows this and looks forward to them. I also give him special treats in the mall, so he doesn't mind sitting, 'cause, well, he's sufficiently bribed.

Knowing this, I warned my sisters. "Do not take him out of his stroller." I shook my finger at them. "Don't do it." A flash of inspiration hit. "'Cause if you do, he'll have to wear this." I pulled out the doggie backpack tether, a.k.a. the leash (let's just call it what it is and not be pretentious, huh?).

Sure enough, ten minutes in, a crazy sister (the one who hasn't reproduced yet, as you might imagine) took him out. So I strapped on the leash and handed her the handle. She was embarrased and appalled.

Ander LOVED it. He got to run a little ahead of us, and he liked that. Please, he'd go up to mirrors and pet the doggie on his back, and pet the doggy paws around his tummy.

My sister was dying. People thought it was her kid, of course, and the comments were flying.

"How cute."
"Oh, look at the little puppy."
"Did you see that kid? He was on a leash, like a dog."

After a while, my sisters and I would burst out laughing every time we heard a whisper behind our back. LMAO. I was just amazing that so many people (seriously, at least ten) thought that it was their business.

Here's what I learned. The leash is effective and Ander loves it. We were much more relaxed shopping with him, and he thought it was a great adventure.

The rest of the world, at least in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, is not ready for the leash, even on a happy, smiling kid.

My sisters and I will always use the leash now, because life is more fun that way!

So I highly recommend it. Who knew?

Etcetera.

A Query

A loyal reader asked this question (edited here for brevity):

What is child led parenting? Whenever you use the term I don't know if you mean Attachment Parenting or that great mass of parents who don't discipline their kids or maybe something else. - Loyal Reader

My response (in case anyone else is confused, though I recall writing about this at length):

I have no idea where the term came from. Maybe from a message board? Maybe from a book? Who knows? It's been part of my consciousness so long that I have no idea of the source.

Basically, it means you take all your cues from your child and use that to guide your parenting, much like people do with infants, only it goes long beyond the infant phase (where I believe it is totally appropriate) to the preschool phase. A parent-led parent is very authroitarian and doesn't consider the child's needs (beyond the basic needs, like hunger). A parent-led parent says jump and expects the child to say how high. A parent-led parent expects the child to sit quietly through an entire Mass at age 1 or 2. I consider myself a family-led parent, where the child's wants/needs/desires are considered, but are not the be-all, end-all of what happens. Instead, the good of the family comes first, and the good of the child comes second (but is of high importance). So my child is expected to sit through Mass, but I bring age and church appropriate toys, distractions, and engage him in the singing. Nonetheless, if he goes beyond the limits that I set as reasonable, he gets a timeout rather than just get to leave Mass.

It's not Attachment Parenting (which, as I understand it, involves a lot of other aspects, like baby-wearing and no CIO), but many attachment parents are child-led parents. I am definitely not an Attachment Parent. I do have many friends who are and mostly they seem okay with me not believing in the same philosophy as them.

Child-led parenting definitely is not the same thing as just not disciplining. A person who just doesn't discipline does not get respect from me. That's just pure laziness and does nothing for the child's well-being, IMHO. Instead, a child-led parent would choose discipline based on exactly what the child wants/needs (so I can respect it), but the families discipline preference would not be considered. So a child-led parent might just not take the child to church, because the child doesn't want to go, and therefore it must not be appropriate for the child yet. I just don't think child-led parenting ultimately leads to a child who is truly concerned about others, as opposed to only being concerned about himself, so I don't practice child-led parenting. It's too easy, IMHO, for a child-led parent to become the parent of a spoiled child.

But it's hard sometimes, to not just give in to Ander, which is why I end up blogging about the struggle to keep setting guidelines and enforcing them! Child-led parenting is probably the easiest way to parent. The child eats when he wants. He sleeps when he wants.

Instead, we are somewhere in-between. Ander can have snacks throughout the day, but breakfast, lunch, and dinner are at set times. And no snacks while I'm cooking dinner. And he has a bedtime, and we enforce it. Things like that are the differences.

Etcetera.

Annoyed

I've had a long day, already. Ander got up early (gra-ate), he pooped three times (including two on the road), and he threw his red beans all over the floor. He did nap to let me get my work done (almost two hours) but now I'm exhausted since I couldn't sleep last night until after midnight and got up way too early.

Of course, being tired, everything is annoying me. Silly stuff, too. Like the person in Strollerfit who used two different color risers under the step. {eyes rolling at self} The idoits on What Not To Wear (on tv right now) who cannot figure out why things like Hooters t-shirts are inappropriate at work, or who whine about cutting their hair. Ander trying to climb up the window sill. I really need a nap. Doesn't look like I'm getting that anytime soon, though.

Etcetera.

Seriously Stupid

The Baton Rouge Business Report reports that local community in Louisiana are passing anti-baggy pants laws. How stupid is that? Look, I don't like to see your boxers. No, seriously, cover them up or risk a dirty look, or worse, a comment, from me. ;) But, come on, people, if you want to walk around in your boxers, or pants that barely cover your boxers, you should not therefore be considered a criminal. Ludicrous. Pun only slightly intended.

With Ander, I plan to shape and direct what he wears. He will have guidelines, and walking outside in pants that show his underwear will not fit those guidelines. Nonetheless, he should be in trouble with mommy and daddy, and not the cops, if he disobeys.

Etcetera.

Last Night

Last night I had one of those nights that I think I will cherish the memory of forever. You know how every now and then, you have the perfect combination of people and atmosphere and food, and the night seems sparkly? That was last night.

Un and her husband Matt (and thier kids) joined Alan and me at Michelle's house. Burnell cooked the most fabulous dinner, complete with appetizers and salad. We had wine and champagne, and I made (okay, bought) chocolate and caramel fondues for dessert.

We talked and laughed. The guys were all great with the kids. (It's wonderful to be around a bunch of daddies who are all 100% involved with their kids.) I never wanted to night to end, and I think I was still grinning when we good home. I just had the best time I've had in forever. There's something about the people that you are destined to me friends for life with, and spending the rare time when get together with them.

Etcetera.

Oh, Oh, Mommy Taught Me To Skip School

Ander had a playdate at 2 p.m. I skipped lunch so I could leave work early, and brought him. He loved Chuck E. Cheese, and he's a cheap date since he doesn't actually like to make the rides move by putting money in them yet. But when we left, he threw a fit. He didn't want to leave, obviously. He screamed and punched me and kicked. By then, we were running late for swim class, and I forgot to pack our swimsuits so we had to go home anyway, and finally I just gave up. So we skipped swim class.

Lots of people called me for divorces today. What is in the air?

Etcetera.

Feeling Much Better

I don't know what was up yesterday, but I really thought I was coming down with the flu or something. I felt so bad, but nothing specific. Sleepy, mild headache, heavy chest, and sore muscles (but without exercising). But today, I feel fine. Really good, actually. Alan let me gets lots of rest yesterday, so maybe that's just what I needed.

I was used as an example to day in Strollerfit. I used proper form doing squats on the balance ball. He he. No one should copy me as an example of how to exercise.

A lady came to Strollerfit today, and I was busy standing in the back, being judgmental of her. {blushing} I know I shouldn't have, but the thoughts went through my mind anyway. She let her two year old get out of the stroller, roam around, and play wiht exercise balls during the aerobic portion of the class. Finally, when she had enough of it, she left class early. I just kept thinking, "put her in her stroller and if she cries, well, she cries. She'll learn to like the music and movement, but not if you don't give her the chance. You're the adult, after all." Sigh. But no. The two year old told mommy how it would be, and mommy jumped at her command. So both mommy and the two year old ended up miserable.

Ander has moved on from playing with the babies in Strollerfit (in the middle of a mat on the floor) to following the bigger kids around. Watch out world!

Etcetera.

Ugh!!!

Last night, after I cut the grass, I felt like I was having an asthma attack. I've had them before after cutting grass or being around cats, but now I know what they feel like so I can recognize them for what they are. So I used my inhaler, and felt moderately better.

But I slept poorly, and this morning my chest still feels congested. Even though I got ready and even put on extra makeup (because I have an opposing party coming into the office), I look awful. My mom even commented about the dark circles under my eyes. Honestly, I dreamed all night that my staff was refusing to do work and I was yelling at them. Sigh. I need to keep reminding myself that was a dream and be careful not to take my crankiness out on them this morning.

Well, off to get some work done. I have tons to do.

Etcetera.

For Froggy - My Cleaning System

Keep in mind that Alan does most of the laundry (except that I put my own already folded clothes away and I sometimes help with Ander's clothes) and deep cleans everything every fourth month or so, when his mom visits. Alan also cleans other things on a whim - vacuums the carpets/rug, sweeps, or wipes things down. But when I actually do my entire weekly schedule, the house stays decent (as in a person could actually clean it for company in about fifteen minutes, and for inspection in about an hour).

My schedule:

Sunday: grocery shop, cut grass, refill my medicine container, save my laundry

Once per week (no time limit, but I decide on Sunday what needs it most and pick based on the busiest of my week): DEEP CLEAN one category, like the floors, or the bathrooms, or all the windows, or something like that.

Once per week: PAIN IN THE BUTT/ORGANIZING CHORE, like taking the box to Goodwill, sorting through the junk drawer, throwing out the ink pens that don't work, or redoing the files

4 times per week: 15 minute quick clean (Order of priority: 1. must do chores like dishes and laundry; 2. clean areas that are seen by people, like wiping down the island or kitchen table or picking up toys or sweeping the floor/carpet; 3. quickly clean areas that take upkeep, like the toilets, sweep floors, or wipe down the tubs; and 4. everything else)

Daily: keep island clean and try to erase the evidence of whatever I do as I go. This means that if I cook dinner, I try to clean up immediately (wipe down stove, rinse dishes and pans and put in dishwasher, store leftovers, and clear and wipe down table). If I get ready in the morning, makeup goes back in the drawer, the sink gets swished after I brush my teeth, the q-tip goes in the trash, I swish the toilet brush through the toilet (doesn't clean it at all, but stops grossness from building up until I hit it in a quick clean or deep clean), my robes gets hung up, etc. The ERASING THE EVIDENCE really the key, because the quick clean just picks up the missed stuff and the slack.

Etcetera.

Does Everyone Always Feel Like They Are Running

So it's early Sunday morning. I'm alread thinking about all the stuff I have to do. I have to cut the grass (or get Brendan to cut it), do laundry, clean up, and get ready for the week. I have work that I ought to go do today at a coffeeshop. Oh, and I need to relax. But I just can't seem to do that. Sigh. It's like I live on overdrive. I look around, and other people relax just fine. Take Alan, for instance, sitting on the couch playing the xbox. I'm so jealous.

Etcetera.

Why Am I so Afraid?

It get so wimpy when it comes to possibly hurting someone's feelings. Mostly, this is a good thing. After all, you shouldn't go around hurting people's feelings. But sometimes, something needs to be said, and I'm too chicken to say it.

I thought about this because someone I know took her kid (Ander's age) to the doctor. The nurse insisted on weighing him on the baby scale and he screamed the whole time. Now, clearly, the adult scale would have been a better idea. Not as precise, certainly, but precision isn't that important once an otherwise healthy baby is a toddler. Instead of insisting that the nurse was wrong, the lady let her son cry. After all, and somewhat understandably (as I probably would have done the same thing), nurses should know what they are doing, KWIM?

But that mom should have insisted on a change, even if it hurt the nurses feelings.

I face the same dilemma in my life all the time. I need to work on speaking up.

Etcetera.

The Little Things

I've really been trying to keep my island in my kitchen clean. All the time, not just sometimes. It a handy surface for cooking, folding clothes, and eating. It gives you a place to unpack and sort groceries after shopping. It is very visually pleasing to have it clean. So it seemed an appropriate place to focus on as my one daily cleaning goal.

I woke up this morning and looked over at the clean island, and I felt energetic and happy. Isn't that silly? But it really works.

I've also been on a "quickclean" schedule of 15 minute cleans four times a week, and my house looks much better.

Now, if I could just get some work done at the office!

Etcetera.

Playing SAHM

So yesterday I didn't go to the office, and I didn't get any lawyer work done at home or at a coffee shop. That was the plan, but I usually fit something in. (Well, I did get one work phone call in, but that is it.)

But I did plan to do other things, like get an oil change for the car and grab some stuff at the store, and I simply ran out of time. I did get the floor sewpt and mopped while Ander played with (but refused to actually eat) his supper. I had to, because my husband taught Ander that sprinkles for cupcakes are actually maracas, and my darling shoke them until the blue sprinkles exploded and it appears that cookie monster had throw up all over my floor. I also did the dishes, btu since that's normally Alan's job, he got all confused and stuff.

Sadly, I'm looking forward to going to the office today. I love playing with Ander. But I need a break from the constant disciplining and teaching so that I can still be good at it. It's clear to me that if I am with him all day, he gets clingy and whiney and wants nothing else except to be held. It's also apparent that I am not as patient and calm and really have to work at getting down to his level, speaking firmly, giving him lots of hugs and kisses, showing and telling instead of just telling - all the important parts of toddler discipline. They are just exhausting!

Etcetera.