On Dear Prudence, a new mom complains about all the breast-feeding advice she is receiving. Prudie recommended that she basically ignore the advice. You can read the exact question and advice here:
http://www.slate.com/id/2184251
The thing about the lady's question is that it sounds absurd. That a perfect stranger would approach her and ask why she wasn't breastfeeding? That friends would send her literature on breastfeeding? That people think it's, in any scenario you can imagine, their business?
Except it's not absurd. When I had Ander, and was dripping with post-partum hormones and craziness, and could barely get through the day, people did the exact same things to me. Yep, there are wackos who approach you in Babies 'R Us, ask if you are breastfeeding, and when you say no, say "why not?" Like it's their business. There are medical professionals who ignore the capital letters on your chart that say "NO BREASTFEEDING" and try to convince you otherwise. There are friends (not family, in my case) who advise you, again and again, to read one breastfeeding book or another. There are acquantices who ask about it, and then explain to you why breastfeeding is the right choice.
I've read that people who don't breastfeed are uneducated. Hmm...four degrees...one doctorate level...but whatever. They are lazy. I know breastfeeders who are self-proclaimed lazy people. They are not doing the best for their kids. (Depends on your definition of best, I guess.)
Anyhow, the Prudie advice made me flashback to those times. People do act the way portrayed in the question, despite how weird it seems.
And Prudie's answer? I think Prudie was wrong. I think the correct answer is, "hey, tell you what. Instead of discussing my breast and how I use it, how about we discuss your rear end and what we should stick up it." But I'm cranky and sick and bitter, so what do I know?
;)
Etcetera.
5 comments:
it's amazing how people have totally different experiences. i don't think a stranger ever asked me about how i fed my baby... and we regularly did breast and bottle in public.
The actual stranger only happened once. Though, wow, it sort of takes you aback. It was more acquantices...someone's mom, a lady at church, the dental assistant...people I knew by sight, but probably can't even tell you their names.
I kinda like your response. Alot actually. :)
And while our family tends to tell you exactly how and how not to raise your child, they have surprisingly very little to say about how you FEED your child. Unless it's chocolate cake at 6 weeks old....that can't POSSIBLY hurt them. :/
Oh, come on. Our family is against breastmilk and formula. After all, neither one is beer. ;)
It always amazes me how total strangers will come up to you and tell you what you're doing wrong with your baby and what they did. When we first moved here, Kirsi was 3 months old. We were grocery shopping and had her in the front carrier (in her bunting suit thingy). An older woman came up to us and scolded us for having her near the refrigerated section of the store because she must be cold. Come on!! She was dressed more than adequately and we were deciding on what yogurt to get, not climbing in there preparing a long stay!!! What does she think kids in Canada or Finland do in the middle of winter?!?!?!
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