A Case Against Co-sleeping

Ugh. We had to co-sleep all weekend. First, in the camper, where the kids (7 year old nephew, 5 year old niece, and Ander) could NOT go to sleep all together, so Ander had to come to bed with Alan and I so we could sleep. Then again at my mom's during this afternoon's nap, because we NEEDED Ander to sleep at the same time as us.

Now, we do ocassionally co-sleep. At 5:30 a.m. every single morning, Ander wakes up and joins me in bed, but it's either on Alan's side, or Alan gets up and it's just the two of us. And I'm not exactly anti-co-sleeping. I would not and do not co-sleep with itty babies without a hard sided co-sleeper, and even then, I always put Ander in the bassinet first and only co-slept in the early morning hours. It was important to me that he learn to sleep alone and that I not squish or overheat him. I have an uncle that died of SIDS, and am very cautious. But I don't worry at all about squishing a two year old. And our co-sleeper was an in-bed one, so he was really close.

It's just that I don't sleep when I co-sleep. I dreamed Misty stole him away from me. (Boy, Misty, I was irrationally mad at you Saturday morning...'til I realized it was a dream. LOL.) I woke and watched him sleep. I tried to warm his cheek with my hand without moving him. I lost the fight for my pillow and my cover, in the cold camper. And it went on and on, as we co-slept over the weekend for various reasons. I'm just not a gifted co-sleeper. Ander kicks my boobs (sore from pregnancy) and my stomach (big from pregnancy). It hurts. I'm tired and grumpy, and though I usually try to be calm and rationale with Ander, I lose it and scream. And he cries, because "Mommy mean!!!" Gre-ate. Sigh.

This baby will be different to raise, in a way, because I'll likely be breastfeeding. But the baby will still have to learn to sleep alone. Because mommy can't share.

Etcetera.