"You do know that you never blogged about Trisomy 18 until this morning, right? It kind of came out of nowhere if a person hadn't spoken with you in person last week." -Husband
I did mention Trisomy 18 in one of my blogs today, didn't I? I took a Quad Screen, and the results came in Friday. I tested at the risk of a 35 year old (instead of the 33 year old I am) for Trisomy 18, a devastating illness that rarely (if ever) results in a surviving baby. Although my levels were only slightly elevated (well, the nurse said "elevated," but in all actuality, they were actually lower than expected, as that is the indicator of Trisomy 18), the doctor's office suggested that I move my level two ultrasound from late next week to tomorrow, to give the maternal fetal specialist a chance to rule out any "soft markers" for the genetic (although not inherited...it would be the result of a random gene problem) disorder.
The nurse, on Friday, was INCREDIBLY INSENSITIVE. She said I should see the maternal fetal specialist right away, in case I decide to "terminate." Um, my risk is still fairly low. Honestly, it's low enough that if I wasn't already high risk, they probably wouldn't even follow-up on this. Also, I would not terminate. She's usually a good nurse, but I will need to talk to the doctor about this. It's not that I don't think termination of a pregnancy should be mentioned to a woman who is diagnosed with Trisomy 18 (as the baby will not survive anyway and there are serious risks of continuing the pregnancy to the mother), but to tell me that ON THE PHONE WHEN MY RISK IS STILL FAIRLY LOW was a mistake.
Anyway, I was devastated, as you might imagine. Friday was pretty tough for me. I kept myself busy all weekend. I'm trying to work today, but it'll come as no surprise that I've gotten very little done. First the miscarriage, and now this. So I'm freakin' out, a little.
Tomorrow, we find out the gender and check for soft markers. If there are no soft markers, that doesn't rule out Trisomy 18 (nothing but an amnio can rule that out in any pregnancy, even one where the woman tests normal on her Quad Screen), but it would be a really, really good sign. If there is a soft marker, then we would be recommended to do an amnio. I don't think I'll do one (as most stats suggest that the risk of amnio-induced miscarriage of a healthy baby is higher than actual risk of Trisomy 18, and there's nothing that can be done about Trisomy 18 anyway), but I'll need to talk to the specialist before deciding.
So tomorrow has suddenly become a really big day. Not just a boy/girl determination day, but a "will my baby survive" day. If I've been sharp with any of you or distracted, it's not personal. I'm just going through a lot right now. I guess I didn't think about that I hadn't blogged about it. :(
Etcetera.
4 comments:
I know it is little consolation but I have had MANY friends and acquaintances say that their results from these tests were terrifyingly scary and led to nothing but worries.My doctor told me "control what you can control (eating, exercise, rest) and don't worry until you have to." It's advice that I still use everyday raising my kids. We will all be here to support you no matter what the outcome. You and boxbaby the younger are in my prayers.
I don't remember having the "option" of taking those tests with Brendan, but I remember it clearly with Nicolas. I opted NOT to take the tests. I think these are different tests that they do when you do the blood sugar thing, but they would be able to tell you if your child would be down syndrome and a host of other things.
To me, I was better off not knowing. I never stressed if my child would have some fatal disease, as that stress certainly cannot be good for the child.
Its great that technology can tell us so much today, but once these results come back normal and show you that everything is fine, the damage is already done to yourself and your child for the stress you've put your body through worrying about it.
sometimes I loathe science.
Hang in there, we're all praying for you.
This must be such a frightening time for you. I don't know if it helps to know that people care, but I do.
Let's hope the scan sets your mind at rest.
I will be thinking about you. You are strong and will get through the stress of this.
Hugs,
Beth
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