Poor Loki has to go to a pediatric cardiologist for a heart murmur. And poor Mommy and Daddy...'cause, really, I'm worried (even though it's USUALLY nothing) and I'm tired and we cannot afford anymore doctor visits, timewise or emotionwise. Say a prayer (or think of us or make a sacrifice...whatever it is you do) that he'll be okay and will NOT need surgery.
Also, Alan and I are out of time to get anything done at home. Take yesterday, for example. I barely got on the computer at all, since I usually only get on while nursing Loki or watching tv with Alan - and there is no time left to watch tv with Alan. :$ I woke up and checked e-mail. I feed and changed the kids. I wrote a grocery list. I went to Office Depot (more on that later) and Wal-mart. I unloaded, changed (yep, again), and fed the kids. I went to lunch (10 minutes...while watching both kids). I went to the doctor with Loki. I made a follow-up appointment with the cardiologist, in consultation with my husband. I came home. I fed and changed (yep, AGAIN...blowouts are getting old) the baby. I changed myself due to diaper overflow. :( Not my diaper. I laid down for 10 minutes. Alan came home. I fed the baby. I cooked a meat dish and a chili. I fed the baby, again. Alan took over the kids so I could meet a client deadline. I started working. Alan freaked out because one kid needed a bath and the other was screaming and Alan doesn't have boobies (there was a bottle in the frig, BTW) and TWO KIDS AND OMG AND I CANNOT DO THIS. And I freaked out, because my client has waited (somewhat patiently) for 10 weeks for me to do this assignment and he cannot wait any longer and I don't want to be sued and he's been understanding and I CANNOT DO THIS AND TWO KIDS AND OMG AND MY FOOD WAS BURNING.
As Alan later said, while we sat so I could nurse the baby and watched the Duggars, with their 17+ kids, "our marriage isn't strong enough for 18 kids." True. (Probably better left unsaid, but I'll forgive it as our marriage is a strong one...just not inhumanly strong. :)) Our house is a disaster, and that is despite the fact that we are constantly cleaning. And it's not okay, because we are losing track of stuff. (Here's an example...I could not find a pacifier for 20 minutes this morning.) It's not even stuff someone else could clean because it's mostly stuff just not put away. It's not like our floors need mopping. (Okay, our floors need mopping. But you can't see our floors, under all the crap, so you wouldn't know that.) When I finally got a bath, after Ander went to bed, I cried. Because, you know, I was so happy to get three minutes to myself. (Really, it wasn't a sad cry, except for the whole it's-sad-that-you-cry-in-happiness-over-a-bath thing.)
Today, I got a mean letter from my "boss." Somehow, I managed to fail to enter the information necessary to maintain state funding for my public defender work. I had written down the information to give to my secretary in early August. Right after that, I had my first hospital visit (of many) and was put on bedrest. Somehow, I never gave her the assignment. It never got done.
I called. I explained, took responsibility, apologized, and took care of the problem this morning.
Which leads me to the solutions portion of this post.
I set up a home office!!! I bought a cheap printer/scanner/copier at Office Depot (under $100) and a container for my paper (under $25). I bought extra office supplies. I set up next to my kitchen table, but the printer and paper are tucked out of sight in the corner. On the table, there is my laptop. And on the floor, my rolling work cart. Both the laptop and the cart go to the office with me, which means the office is pretty much invisible except when I am using it. Perfect.
I've already done enough billable work this morning to pay for it. Why didn't I do this ages ago?
I also picked up two laundry baskets for returning laundry and other stuff to Loki and Ander's rooms. Stuff kept just piling up on the kitchen table because we do laundry when the kids are asleep and you don't want to wake them to put it away. Eventually, it gets all mixed up and becomes a nightmare. Not anymore. :)
Etcetera.
7 comments:
Hey, I get the "our marriage isn't strong enough..." Rob and I make a great team. We love each other, we work well together...but seriously, I don't even need to think about 17, watching John and Kate makes 8 (or whatever it is called) I've thought, "people think that THEY get snippy with each other? Wait till they see how Rob and I would cope!"
Hang in there! I probably need to keep Kristy blog-reading to a minimum while I adjust to the idea of having two kids. Your entry about freaked me out! lol
I'm sure you two will figure it out, eventually. I'm hoping eventually will be sooner rather than later, and that this is the first and last visit to the heart doc for Loki.
I'll say lots and lots of prayers that Loki's heart is perfectly fine!!
I don't know if you and I ever met at LSMSA, but I've been at the same "I can't do this" point when my 2nd was born.
Take a deep breath and love on your babies. They get bigger. You do get to sleep again. And work--well, it'll happen too. Hang in there!
I'll be praying for your little one's heart.
sorry to hear about Loki. I do hope that it is nothing that requires surgery and he will be ok.
sounds like you are getting organized with the things that you are doing. I can imagine it takes time to adjust. Not sure how I would do it. Keep plugging away. You are doing well!
I'm sorry to hear about Loki. I'm praying that he won't need surgery. And yeah, getting overwhelmed is part of the adjustment of having two kids. I still have days where I wonder how I'll ever manage but I can now say that those days are fewer and fewer. It's a tough transition but it is so worth it. Now, I can't imagine not having both kids. But I have to admit that Der and I still don't have any "us" time. By the time we've put the kids to bed, we just veg out because we're exhausted. I keep telling myself, "All in due time."
Great job on the home office! I'm glad that it's working out and that you're able to productive from home.
I think I've told you before that people ask me how the heck do we keep up with 3 kids (and 3 dogs) that are involved in EVERYTHING. I think you started maybe figuring out exactly how involved we were yesterday when we were able to steal 30 minutes of time to come visit. Anyway, my answer is always simple. My house is not always clean and picked up. My laundry is never completely done. Dishes sometimes stay dirty in the sink. And sometimes when we do have a moment, and all these things need to be done, Keith and I just say screw it we'll do it later, and go lay down and watch tv together.
Some personalities do not allow for our lifestyle though, and I get that. I would rather sleep than mop my floors. Some people CAN'T sleep without mopping their floors.
Oh, and about the Duggars. Why the heck wouldn't they keep having kids. Just think...they have children old enough to clean house, do yard work, change diapers, etc. What I mean is THEY HAVE HELP. So their 18 kids is probably not much more difficult than your 2. Granted grocery shopping has to be horrible....
Finally, Loki is going to be fine. He's got Bourgeois blood running in him...makes his stubborn and resilient :)
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