Supposed To

I'm supposed to be...

off of work today
sleeping
packing
dressing up

Instead of...

negotiating release of client with assistant DA and judge's office while rocking a screaming baby who will not sleep.

Dammit.

I tried to try on red shoes at Target today. R-E-D, people. Heels.

No less than three people interrupted to tell me the baby was cute (ah!), was he a twin with the random other baby that was there (um, no, STRANGER man is holding that other baby), and maybe if I held him different he would burp for me because clearly I wasn't used to giving him a bottle and she breastfeeds exclusively and maybe a new position would help the screaming (yes, lady, you do have a 5 month old, but you saw my two year old, who was, gasp, bottle-fed, and NOTHING is making this kid stop screaming but I can't leave the store yet because the prescription for the yeast infection cream that I need for a BREAST INFECTION BECAUSE HE IS BREAST FEEDING AND THIS IS PUMPED BREASTMILK IS NOT READY AND I'VE BOTTLE FED PLENTY OF BABIES THANK YOU FOR YOUR NOSY ASS CONCERN AND I WANTED TO TRY ON THESE RED SHOES BUT NOW THE MEDS ARE READY AND CAN I GET SOME VALIUM WITH THAT PRETTY PLEASE...sigh). I swear I am a freak magnet. And this lady assumed I normally breastfed, but still...why assume either way?

So my feet are bare.

And I am sleepy.

And my boob is covered in medical goop.

Amen.

Etcetera.