I really believe Alan has good intentions to spend time with me, be more romantic (and the bar, just in case you didn't notice, is REALLY SERIOUSLY LOW...darnit), and be more understanding of what I'm feeling. I think the problem is he doesn't know how to enact it. He takes care of the kids and thinks he's being nice to me, because he's taking care fo the kids. Or he cleans the house, and hey, how many guys clean up? Except that I went into marriage (no big secret about to be revealed) knowing and assuming and demanding that the guy be willing to take care of his own kids and clean his own house, and those things are great, but they merely MEET EXPECTATIONS.
You don't get extra credit for just meeting expectations.
Even worse for poor Alan? I have an EXPECTATION of a certain level of romance. It's a really, really low expectation, but it's higher than level zero, so it does require some work.
Just saying.
So I gave him some ideas. Some concrete, not whiney, just do this and it will really help ideas. We shall see.
I'm pretty sure he'll never watch Oprah with me again. LOL.
(Have you seen her "Best Life Sex Show"? Those Body Maps, blank dolls where you mark where you want to be touched, are CrEEpy.)
Etcetera.
3 comments:
Alan, give the signal and we can sneak you out... a wink... a nod... we'll distract her with cheese or chili or chocolate or something that starts with "ch."
Jake
We married the same man! I'm starting to see the romance though in the everyday gestures like pulling more than his weight when it comes to taking care of stuff. It's his way of loving me even though I need romance too. Talk about really lowering the bar! You made me realize that it's been a while since we had a romance talk..."Oh Rooo-ooob!"
Oh, and let me add that I've half given up on expecting romance. Rob really seems impaired in this area and when we have the discussion he asks for examples and then plays out my examples..talk about NOT romantic.
I'd take a guy who pulls his weight but is romantically impaired over one who is a chauvanist romantic anyday though...assuming I couldn't have both!
Post a Comment