This past week was so busy that I had to cut corners somewhere. Mostly, I slept less, which was likely unfortunate for everyone around me. I ate less, too, just because I didn't have time to eat. But, mostly, I did things a little less thoroughly than I usually would. I wasn't 100% at anything. And I felt (unreasonable) guilt about it the entire time. Every second that the tv babysat my kids, every moment that I was tired and had to reread a sentence at the office, every hour that I threw things into boxes instead of sorting and packing - I feel guilty.
Instead, I need to learn from this crazy last week. I have priorities and they are the most important things. Unlike the past, when work was everything, I need to focus in other places. Maybe I could give 95% at work or something. :) Seriously, though, my kids and husband need someone kinder and more relaxed. I need to find time to grocery shop, cook, and work out. I need to keep our space usable (while, mostly, Alan keeps it clean). I need to find time for myself, to read, blog, and recharge (translation: sip my coffee instead of gulping it).
This whole idea of reprioritizing scares my husband, I suspect. He is scared not giving a 100% means I won't make enough money or that I'll laze around on the couch. But it doesn't mean that at all. It means I can focus on my family and my health (both mental and physical), instead of stressing like a crazy person.
Etcetera.
I think that's a healthy thing. I'm scared for when I go back to work because I know my priorities have definitely changed - meaning my family comes first - and I won't be able to be the perfectionist that I was. I'll just need to find something that works. Good luck! Dana
ReplyDeletelove the blog, im a regular reader, it is beautifully written.
ReplyDeletethink you might like some of my posts and blogs, feel free to check them out.
http://davidhatton1987.blogspot.com/
all the way from england
david