Sucking It Up

I want to murder the vacuum slowly while it's baby watches hate vacuuming.  Hate it.  My vacuum cleaner is from back when I got married in 1996.  It's heavy and bulky and hard to store and move around.  The attachments fall right off of it.  But I can't bring myself to buy a new one, both because it still works well and because I hate vacuuming way too much to spend any extra money on it.  Also, I have serious dust allergies, so anything that moves dust around (like moving the sofa to get to where I need to vacuum) is miserable for me.

Nonetheless, this morning, I dragged out the stupid vacuum cleaner.  I had to.  The spiders were attacking us.  They were growing there little egg nests under all of our window sills and in our corners.  Luckily, we don't have much carpet, but our carpet was pretty gross, too.  So I vacuumed.

And once you've pulled out the crazy heavy sadistic vacuum, you might as well vacuum under the sofa cushions, right?  And under the frig and oven?  Under the furniture?  All the plugs and cords near electronics?  And, of course, your keyboards on all four computers in the house?

Did someone say mopping?  'Cause that someone can SUCK IT.

Etcetera.