Yesterday, Loki told me, "all you do all day is sit on the couch."
"No," I protested, "that's all you see."
But what if that is all he sees? Is that the image I want? Should I worry about his perception?
Yes, if I want him to be a husband and a father someday, I should worry.
Here's what really happened...
At 7 a.m., Loki goes to school (Daddy does morning carpool)
7:30 - 9:00 a.m. Work (I'm a lawyer who works from home)
9:00 - 9:30 a.m. Drove to kids' school in the city to drop off tuition checks
9:30 - 10 a.m. Filled prescription and pulled coupons for grocery shopping
10 - 12 noon Shopping - a big trip, including needs like shampoo and food for the week
12 - 12:30 p.m. Unloaded groceries
12:30 - 1 p.m. Made lunch, checked e-mails, and ate lunch
1 - 2:30 p.m. Work
At 3 p.m., Loki gets off of school.
2:30 - 4 p.m. Pick kids up from school, hear about their day in the car (as they take turns telling me during the long commute)
4 - 6 p.m. Work, oversee homework and chores, put dinner on the stove
6 - 6:30 p.m. Finish cooking and serve dinner (including pork chops, veggies, pasta, and a hot dog for Loki the Picky)
6:30 - 7:30 p.m. Sit on the couch, admittedly, but the boys asked to use their "electronics time" that they earn through chores to use; while they watched tv together in the other room, I researched an excursion for our upcoming cruise vacation, caught up on Facebook, and got up to lay out clothes and snack and water bottles for tomorrow
7:30 - 8 p.m. Helped Loki with bath and read Harry Potter with him (he reads the one, two, and three letters words and I read the rest)
At 8 p.m. Loki goes to bed.
He saw me sitting for a very interrupted HOUR, y'all. An hour - filled with little chores the whole time. But he thinks that sitting on the couch is "all you do, Mommy."
So I'm going to change things. I've been busting my butt to get things done during the day, while the kids are at school, so I can be available to them in the evenings. Those days are over.
They are going to see me sweep the floor, clean the counters, and fold the laundry. Mommy is no longer going to be available for their every whim. Instead, she will be doing housework when they can see it. If they need me, well, they can help me while we talk!
I just don't want them to think that I live a life of leisure when I am working so hard to take care of them. From now on, whenever possible, I'll let my kids watch me do chores.
It's time that I get credit for what I do and that they understand that food does not magically appear without work. (Even in Harry Potter, food cannot be created from nothing! And that is with magic!!!) (On the cruise, food will appear as if from magic. I cannot wait.)
Etcetera.
4 comments:
That's a great idea! Plus it will give you some quiet time to rest when nobody's home, which is always better (for me anyway!).
Oh gosh! Good luck with that! Here I am also very busy through the day, I do a lot of cleaning and I also have chickens that I clean daily. I am busy cooking, with the kids routines, serving dinner, cleaning afterwards... I have a 1yo ds and a 5yo dd. And what I hear is: "you are ALWAYS working! And never have time for me." Our chats and things we do together around the house just...............DOESN'T COUNT!!
Don't you hate that, Lavender? In my house, the only thing that seems to count is playing video games with them. And I refuse to do it. They are too addicted to encourage it!
Don't you hate that, Lavender? In my house, the only thing that seems to count is playing video games with them. And I refuse to do it. They are too addicted to encourage it!
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