An E-mail Conversation

Keep in mind that Alan hates seafood.

Kristy's e-mail:

We are invited to my aunt's crab boil Friday night. Also, I am home sick today. The more I tried to get ready, the more rundown I felt. My throat is blazing, my ear is hurting, my head is pounding, and I'm pretty sure I'm running a fever. Unfortunately, Ander is very healthy and running at 100 miles per hour.

Alan's reply e-mail:

Have you talked to your sister about our niece spending the night? You could pick her up after work on Thursday and bring her back down when you visit for the wedding on Saturday.

Kristy's reply e-mail:

And you choose to ignore the mounds of free, boiled crabs?

Alan's reply e-mail:

Oh, I read it wrong. I thought I was ignoring mounds of free boiled crawfish.

Sigh.

Etcetera.

Yuck

I just turned on the tv. I think Ander thought I was putting on Sesame Street and went to kiss Big Bird. But I turned on the news, and Alberto Gonzales was on the scene. He gave the Attorney General a big sloppy kiss. Ick!

Etcetera.

I Find Myself...

Trying to blog, but with little to say.

Ander has started using some sentences, particularly if he gets to sign them. More milk, please. More food, please. Ma ma, up. Okay, I guess those are phrases more than sentences, but you get the point.

I'm hiring a new student worker at the office, because my old one is going off to another college.

I really want to review HP, but can't do it without spoilers.

Etcetera.

New Purse

I got a new purse. Pre-Ander, I used itty bitty purses, and keep most of the essentials that don't melt in Louisiana heat (checkbook, pens, etc.) in my car. Post-Ander, I used gigantic purses that could carry a diaper. So, now that diapers are not usually an emergency and come at predictable times, so I can just keep some in my car, I needed a medium/small purse (since I don't have room to keep everything in my car anymore ).

I got the cutest red bag to use. It fits in my briefcase (for court days) and my tote bag (for errand/work at coffee shop days) and Ander's diaper bag (for playdates), but it works just as well by itself.

I would have (in other waords, was willing to spend) spent a lot for it, but I got it at the outlet mall for just $10. Score!

Etcetera.

Almost Exactly Six Hours Later

I cracked open my HP book at about 12:09 a.m. Almost exactly six hours later, I've read it. Wow. It really does tie up the loose ends and it's very powerful.

Ander did good buying the book. He woke up for a bit in the store and starred at people, but then he went back to sleep. And there was a younger baby there, although my darling husband points out that the younger baby was probably young enough that she is up all night anyway.

Etcetera.

He Speaks The Truth

In the local donut shop this morning, there was a kid about eight or nine years old. He clearly had some sort of problem; I would guess aspbergers (sp?). Anyhow, he asked the lady is they had "twist" donuts. Twist donuts are very popular around these parts, and for some reason, the donut shop never makes enough and runs out. She said, "yes, we have some."

He said, "well, that's good, because you are almost ALWAYS out."

Then he turned to the crazy, cranky old man who hangs out all day long.

"That man is crazy. And old."

He had no filter, and for a precious, fleeting moment, I was totally jealous of him.

Etcetera.

Hand, Foot, and Mouth

E called yesterday and said, based on Ander's symptoms, check for hand, foot, and mouth disease. I already had. No sores. But since E brought it up, I checked the soles of his feet. Two blisters. By three hours later, they were all over his soles and arms and a few were around his mouth.

G-r-e-a-t.

So we are home today. I am going into the office, but I have a client coming in this afternoon, so I'll minimize impact on my sister (whose watching him, since my mom has other kids at her house) by keeping him home part of the day.

It's going to be a long morning. Especially since he's hungry, but it hurts to swallow, so he keeps chewing up food and spitting it out. Ick.

Etcetera.

Spoke Too Soon

I told Stac Carp that Ander was sleeping well. And I truly meant it, at the time.

A half hour after we put him to bed, where he was sleeping before we could even say good night, he started screaming. He must have cried for a half hour. I guess he had a nightmare. He was crying, but sound asleep. Nothing helped, not even holding him.

This morning, he slept late. But he is a cranky bear. Everything (and I mean everything, including the no kick mommy rule) is making him scream. His butt is covered in what looks like pimples (yeast, maybe?), he got a hair caught in his teeth when drinking his milk, and he keeps telling me his feet hurt and asking me to rub them (the one thing that makes him happy right now). He stands at the pantry, but refuses all food except begs for Coke, which he is clearly not getting.

It's going to be a long day.

Etcetera.

It's Been One Of Those Days

Today should have fun. We went to New Orleans to eat lunch with 'Chelle and Britt (and it was nice to see Britt) and then to a family birthday party. But I think we had too much planned. I am exhausted, and moody, and it's Sunday. Actually, Rach called and I was so tired and overwhelmed that I almost just let it go to voicemail. But you don't let an 8-month preggie lady go to voicemail, just in case it's "the call," so I answered. But no, I couldn't hang out, again, because we are quite simply overbooked. You should see my schedule. It's crazy. Working, keeping Ander involved in some social life, and having me time (yah, right) is impossible.

Sigh.

I just want a day of lying around the house eating bons bons. I don't particularly like bons bons, but I'd make the sacrifice for a day of rest.

Etcetera.

Seems Like I Only Post On Saturdays

I saw the HP movie today. Awesome. I'm such a kid about HP. Seriously, though, it's amazing how much this story speaks to me.

My dry erase board keeps crashing to the floor. It was how I was organizing my stuff, but not anymore. How will I keep track of the things I need in my bag in the morning? How will I remember my cell phone? Maybe I'm the only one, but since I've had a baby, I need memory tools to help me or I forget everything.

Etcetera.

I Love The Leash :)

So my sisters and I went to the mall today. Ander was in his stroller, and he really does great in his stroller. I always give him breaks outside of it (playing in the play area and riding the carousel) and he knows this and looks forward to them. I also give him special treats in the mall, so he doesn't mind sitting, 'cause, well, he's sufficiently bribed.

Knowing this, I warned my sisters. "Do not take him out of his stroller." I shook my finger at them. "Don't do it." A flash of inspiration hit. "'Cause if you do, he'll have to wear this." I pulled out the doggie backpack tether, a.k.a. the leash (let's just call it what it is and not be pretentious, huh?).

Sure enough, ten minutes in, a crazy sister (the one who hasn't reproduced yet, as you might imagine) took him out. So I strapped on the leash and handed her the handle. She was embarrased and appalled.

Ander LOVED it. He got to run a little ahead of us, and he liked that. Please, he'd go up to mirrors and pet the doggie on his back, and pet the doggy paws around his tummy.

My sister was dying. People thought it was her kid, of course, and the comments were flying.

"How cute."
"Oh, look at the little puppy."
"Did you see that kid? He was on a leash, like a dog."

After a while, my sisters and I would burst out laughing every time we heard a whisper behind our back. LMAO. I was just amazing that so many people (seriously, at least ten) thought that it was their business.

Here's what I learned. The leash is effective and Ander loves it. We were much more relaxed shopping with him, and he thought it was a great adventure.

The rest of the world, at least in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, is not ready for the leash, even on a happy, smiling kid.

My sisters and I will always use the leash now, because life is more fun that way!

So I highly recommend it. Who knew?

Etcetera.

A Query

A loyal reader asked this question (edited here for brevity):

What is child led parenting? Whenever you use the term I don't know if you mean Attachment Parenting or that great mass of parents who don't discipline their kids or maybe something else. - Loyal Reader

My response (in case anyone else is confused, though I recall writing about this at length):

I have no idea where the term came from. Maybe from a message board? Maybe from a book? Who knows? It's been part of my consciousness so long that I have no idea of the source.

Basically, it means you take all your cues from your child and use that to guide your parenting, much like people do with infants, only it goes long beyond the infant phase (where I believe it is totally appropriate) to the preschool phase. A parent-led parent is very authroitarian and doesn't consider the child's needs (beyond the basic needs, like hunger). A parent-led parent says jump and expects the child to say how high. A parent-led parent expects the child to sit quietly through an entire Mass at age 1 or 2. I consider myself a family-led parent, where the child's wants/needs/desires are considered, but are not the be-all, end-all of what happens. Instead, the good of the family comes first, and the good of the child comes second (but is of high importance). So my child is expected to sit through Mass, but I bring age and church appropriate toys, distractions, and engage him in the singing. Nonetheless, if he goes beyond the limits that I set as reasonable, he gets a timeout rather than just get to leave Mass.

It's not Attachment Parenting (which, as I understand it, involves a lot of other aspects, like baby-wearing and no CIO), but many attachment parents are child-led parents. I am definitely not an Attachment Parent. I do have many friends who are and mostly they seem okay with me not believing in the same philosophy as them.

Child-led parenting definitely is not the same thing as just not disciplining. A person who just doesn't discipline does not get respect from me. That's just pure laziness and does nothing for the child's well-being, IMHO. Instead, a child-led parent would choose discipline based on exactly what the child wants/needs (so I can respect it), but the families discipline preference would not be considered. So a child-led parent might just not take the child to church, because the child doesn't want to go, and therefore it must not be appropriate for the child yet. I just don't think child-led parenting ultimately leads to a child who is truly concerned about others, as opposed to only being concerned about himself, so I don't practice child-led parenting. It's too easy, IMHO, for a child-led parent to become the parent of a spoiled child.

But it's hard sometimes, to not just give in to Ander, which is why I end up blogging about the struggle to keep setting guidelines and enforcing them! Child-led parenting is probably the easiest way to parent. The child eats when he wants. He sleeps when he wants.

Instead, we are somewhere in-between. Ander can have snacks throughout the day, but breakfast, lunch, and dinner are at set times. And no snacks while I'm cooking dinner. And he has a bedtime, and we enforce it. Things like that are the differences.

Etcetera.

Annoyed

I've had a long day, already. Ander got up early (gra-ate), he pooped three times (including two on the road), and he threw his red beans all over the floor. He did nap to let me get my work done (almost two hours) but now I'm exhausted since I couldn't sleep last night until after midnight and got up way too early.

Of course, being tired, everything is annoying me. Silly stuff, too. Like the person in Strollerfit who used two different color risers under the step. {eyes rolling at self} The idoits on What Not To Wear (on tv right now) who cannot figure out why things like Hooters t-shirts are inappropriate at work, or who whine about cutting their hair. Ander trying to climb up the window sill. I really need a nap. Doesn't look like I'm getting that anytime soon, though.

Etcetera.

Seriously Stupid

The Baton Rouge Business Report reports that local community in Louisiana are passing anti-baggy pants laws. How stupid is that? Look, I don't like to see your boxers. No, seriously, cover them up or risk a dirty look, or worse, a comment, from me. ;) But, come on, people, if you want to walk around in your boxers, or pants that barely cover your boxers, you should not therefore be considered a criminal. Ludicrous. Pun only slightly intended.

With Ander, I plan to shape and direct what he wears. He will have guidelines, and walking outside in pants that show his underwear will not fit those guidelines. Nonetheless, he should be in trouble with mommy and daddy, and not the cops, if he disobeys.

Etcetera.